Cars – Page 18 – Splendid Isolation

Different Standard

January 7, 2023 Kim du Toit Drive Time

You know how you will sometimes run across a woman who you know will be bad for you, will empty your wallet, will cause you to do bad things (and not just to her), will cause you to get into trouble, but at the end of the day, you just can’t help yourself?

Here’s the automotive equivalent, the 1952 Alfa Romeo 1900 M (“Matta”):

Didn’t know Alfa made a jeep-type utility back in the early 1950s? Nor did I. But let’s get back to the standards set in first paragraph of this post, because this little thing even warns you by its nickname that it’s going to be trouble:

Is it reliable? — doesn’t Matta
Does it have 4-wheel drive? — doesn’t Matta
What’s its gas consumption? — doesn’t Matta
Is it an uncomfortable ride? — doesn’t Matta
Is it expensive? — doesn’t Matta

Do I want one? Hell yes.

Because it’s an Alfa.

And to make things even worse, here’s an earlier one, the 1930 Alfa Romeo 6C 1750 Gran Sport:

I want this one even more than the Matta… wait, no I don’t / yes I do aaaaaarrrrrrghhh I want both, because they color-match.

I have as much resistance to Alfas as I have to the type of girl in the opening paragraph.

3 Unnecessary Driving Skills

December 14, 2022 Kim du Toit 3 Inexplicable Things, Drive Time

…in these here modern times:

Driving a manual transmission. I’m not saying that the near-disappearance of the stick shift is a good thing — anything but — but it seems that most automobile owners today are quite comfortable with being steerers rather than drivers.

Parallel parking. Other than in city streets, almost all parking spots are adjacent and not parallel. I don’t remember in which state this happened (Pennsyvania?), but a woman sued the state’s driver’s code which mandated parallel parking proficiency, saying (quite rightly) that her inability to parallel park was a burden on nobody but herself, and any inconvenience suffered because she would have to drive around looking for non-parallel parking would be hers alone. The judge agreed, and the rule was set aside. I don’t know whether that’s spread to other states.

Reversing ability. It seems that almost every car these days comes equipped with some kind of rearview camera and a warning system which beeps when you’re about to reverse into something. I have to say that this modern geegaw is one that I heartily approve of, especially for Old Pharttes like myself for whom turning around in the seat is no longer the simple task that it once was. (My 2013 VW Tiguan doesn’t have such a thing, and I wish it did.)

Feel free to add your ideas of other unnecessary driving skills, in Comments.

Remote Silliness

December 6, 2022 Kim du Toit Crime, Drive Time, Technology, Two-Minute Hate

It’s a well-known fact that if a criminal scrote wants to get into your car, he will. But why make it easier for him?

Got a car with keyless technology? It’s twice as likely to be stolen: Insurer reveals changing face of motor theft as brazen criminals shift tactics.

This is one modern geegaw I’ve never understood the need for, let alone wanted in my car. What is so difficult about inserting a key into the ignition and turning it, that you have to make it “wireless”?

Of course, there’s this:

Price of electronic starter fob when added to your car’s selling price: > $300
Price of metal key: ~$1.

Fuck ’em. If I ever get a new car (highly unlikely), the first thing I’ll have done is get the fob disabled. And if it can’t be disabled and is the only way to start the car, I’ll get another car with a fucking metal key.

This has nothing to do with a resistance to change; it’s resistance to pointless, expensive and unnecessary change.

Next: electronic handbrakes.

Slight Disagreement

November 21, 2022 Kim du Toit Drive Time

Some guy has opined on the Top 15 Most Beautiful Vintage Cars Ever Made, and I agree by and large, taking issue with #15 (Dodge Charger, seriously?), the rankings of the Dino 246 GT at #12 (should have been at least #3) and the Lamborghini Miura at #14 (LOL). And then there’s the inclusion of the Ford Shelby Mustang (performance, yes; looks, blecchhh).

My favorite (about the ’50s Corvette): “…the best-looking car Chevrolet ever conceived” — talk about a low bar.

It’s only 20 minutes long, so help yourselves and then add your thoughts in Comments.

The Business Of Nostalgia – Part 2

November 12, 2022 Kim du Toit Drive Time

Last week we looked at Brabus Classic doing their Germanic number on restoring old Mercedes cars. This week, we turn our gaze upon a guy (who looks suspiciously like a Teutonic version of Don Draper from Mad Men), and his company called Early 911S, which specializes in restoring Porches of the air-cooled Boxer-engine era to their ummm earlier magnificence. Help yourself to an hour or so of watching the pros go about their business.

As I said last week, I can’t fit into any sports car, let alone the dinkies of that era, but I have to say that one of those cherry 356 numbers would look extremely good in my post-Powerball garage…

Yeah, they do the 356 (which I think is beautiful) as well as the 911 (which isn’t).

And then, of course, there’s RUF.

Evolution

November 10, 2022 Kim du Toit Drive Time, Gratuitous Chick Pics, Gratuitous Gun Pics, Old Fartism

In my innocence, I always imagined that evolution was a Good Thing, in that v.2.0 would always be an improved version of v.1.9.9, and so on. (Of course, that belief has been massively degraded by having to deal with software companies, but that’s for another time.)

I understand, therefore, that evolution is not necessarily an improvement, but by and large it has proven to be so — a 2021 Corvette is a much better car than its 1961 ancestor, at least mechanically speaking. As for its shape? I’ll let you decide:

Regardless of the shape change (ugh), I think we can agree that the 2021 model performs much better than the 1961 model, mechanically speaking, because let’s be honest, engine technology, materials and things like suspension- and brake technology are better now than they were sixty years ago. And even the modern shape is no doubt far more efficient in terms of air management than the older one, so at least there’s that.

Now let’s talk about guns. Here we have a situation where the technology has hardly changed at all, materials have improved somewhat, but (say) a .22 pistol’s operation and efficiency have stayed pretty much the same.

So sixty-odd years ago we had .22 pistols that looked like the High Standard and Beretta:

…which, I think we can all agree, did an excellent job of putting the boolet into its intended destination. Modern pistols, of course, do just as good a job of that — pistols like the FN and SIG: