Monday Funnies

Yep… Monday, in a nutsack.  Meanwhile, on the Funny Front:


As my friend Patterson says:  “Most days, I don’t even want sex.  Just… silence.”

And just a teeny detour with a little something for our OCD friends:

And back we go to our scheduled programming:

And speaking of long drinks of water on a sunny day, here’s some Robert McGinniss mcgoodness:

Now finish dressing and head off into Monday.

Take Yer Pick

Well, you were about to catch a flight out of St. Louis after having sold your company to a bunch of Missouri bankers, but Al Qa’eda / ISIS / Hamas blew up the airport, fortunately before you got there.

With the concomitant chaos, you figure that your best bet to get home is to drive there, wherever “home” is.  But you’ve got a large check in your briefcase, and as it happens, you come across Daniel Schmitt & Co, a purveyor of fine cars to the discerning customer — so you think to yourself, “What Would Kim Do?”, and of course, Kim would take some of that money and buy a decent car for the drive home.  Especially when Messrs. Schmitt & Cie. have things like this available:

Assume, for the sake of it, that all the cars in their showroom would be reliable enough to get you home (even the British and Italian ones).

So browse among them, and pick the ONE you would dump the dough on, start up and set off in.  And let me know in Comments which one, and why.

It may take you a while…

News Roundup

Hey, speaking of fallen icons:


...well, duh, Steve — we all knew that a long time ago.


...still persisting with the con, I see.

Some more Scumbag News (Sex Division):


...normally I’d be wondering what took so long;  but this asshole redefines the term “scumbag”.

And speaking of same:


...and FJB is made in the image of… well, it’s pretty obvious, innit?

Turning to Woke News:


...if she wasn’t otherwise such a socialist tart, I’d love her a lot.

In Medical News:


And in other great medical (but non-NHS) news:


...keyword:  Balkans.

In the Department of Economics:


...never mind buying a house;  you need more than that just to buy fucking groceries.


...and from this we learn, children, why government imposes Green-based initiatives (hint:  it’s got nothing to to with the environment).

Military News:


...actually, they should be blaming Trump. [/Democrats]


...best place to hide them, of course.

In guaranteed link-free  

 


...”ex-friend” by now, if she has any sense.

Finally, a brisk stroll down :


...oh, why not end the week with some gratuitous tottywatching?

So let’s all head off to the weekend:

…being the end of the news.

New Bogeymen Required

Oy.  Here’s one to make us all do a desk faceplant:

While an increase in cancer risk has long been linked to smoking, red meat, environmental factors such as pollution and second hand smoke, and lifestyle habits like booze intake and weight, doctors are now looking at ultra processed foods, oral sex and vaping as some of the possible causes.

Any bets as to whether they’ll find what they’re looking for?

Of course they will, because doctors are busybody killjoys who just love telling people how to run their own lives.

Oh, and let’s not forget:

Getting It Right

It’s not often that I find anything worthwhile in my former home country, but this is sure as hell in the top 3:

A police tactical firearms team in South Africa shot dead nine members of a brutal gang suspected of raping a young girl in front of her screaming mother.  But when shocking details emerged from the mother of the sexually tortured girl who was repeatedly raped during a house robbery, officials ordered a crackdown on the criminal group.

Swift justice was handed out when the elite unit was ordered by top brass to find the eleven men who had put their victim through such a sickening ordeal.

The ruthless gang based near Durban, KwaZulu-Natal province, is believed to be behind a series of serious crimes including murder and armed robbery.  

In this case, Africa certainly won, probably for the first time in ages.  None of that “fair trial” bullshit for animals like these.

Anyone think that when it comes to Murka and, say, MS-13 or Crips gang members, we should do the same?

I had no idea.