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No Chance

Travels

I see that beautiful New Zealand is opening its borders to tourists next month, and my only thought is:

No.  Fucking.  Way.

Sure;  I’ll endure a 17-hour flight in an economy seat, arrive in Kiwiland only to discover that someone has caught the sniffles so Reichsfuehrer  Jacinda Wossname can lock the place up again, inflicting an endless stream of horrible TV, bad food and ugly, badly-dressed and ultra-feministical wimmyns* on my sensitive soul?

Listen:  the only reason I’d go Further Down Under would be to watch NZ play rugby or cricket against South Africa or England, and even that’s a dubious proposition.

Now I need to ameliorate my apparent harshness with this observation:  while I’ve never met an Australian (male or female) that I didn’t want to punch in the mouth ten minutes after meeting them, I have always enjoyed the company of (male and female) New Zealanders:  Australians without the rudeness and attitude, to make it brief.  But that’s not enough.

Not gonna happen, and as for the beautiful scenery:  you can stick it up your Peter Jackson.  Middle Earth, my aching African-American ass.

*hence the old joke:  Hear about the Miss New Zealand competition?  Nobody won.

Quelle Surprise

Men & Women

I am always amused when women all claim to love a Bad Boy, and then when they get involved with one, are all surprised when he turns out to be, well, actually bad.  Such as this idiot:

Evan Rachel Wood has described in horrific detail how her ex-boyfriend Marilyn Manson allegedly tied her up, beat her with a Nazi whip, and electrically shock her genitals when she tried to break up with him.

Errrr perhaps this may have been a slight clue that there was something wrong with the boy, young lady:

Just sayin’.  A little commonsense and (dare I say) parental advice heeded may have saved you all the (literal) butt-hurt.

Dubious Decision

Train Smash Women

In a photoshoot of two totties I’ve never heard of, who star in a TV show I’ll never watch, on a beach I’ll never visit, there is but one thought running through my mind:

Letting a 4-year-old draw on your body with a Sharpie can never have a good outcome.

Pic posted so you don’t have to click on the link.

Doing Nothing

Law and Order, Pussification Parade, Two-Minute Hate

I am curious to see My Readers’ response to this bit of bastardy, bureaucracy and pussification:

A homeowner was left disgusted after a stranger parked their Range Rover on his driveway for days.
Zekarias Haile, who lives a five-minute drive from Manchester Airport, said he waited four days for the owner of the grey car to return and pick it up. The 51-year-old man woke to find it abandoned on his driveway on Thursday and he suspects the cheeky owner had jetted off for a holiday from the nearby Jet2.com and Ryanair hub.
The father-of-two, who lives in Wythenshawe, Manchester, said: “Someone, without my permission, had put the car there and they didn’t care. I just went out and it was there. Then it was there Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. On Monday morning when we woke up it was gone. I was very angry but I resisted doing anything to the car – just. I definitely didn’t feel alright about it. We couldn’t access our garden and we couldn’t take out our bins.”
Zekarias, a lecturer in Engineering at a college, called the police but was told it was not a criminal offence and there was nothing they could do. They said Zekarias’ car, parked on the road, wasn’t being blocked in so their hands were tied.

Okay, firstly:  what kind of asshole parks his car in another guy’s driveway and just takes off?

Secondly:   what kind of pussified man does nothing about the situation for four whole days?

Thirdly:  what kind of police force won’t have the car towed?

Finally, what would you have done in a similar situation?