ULD Reminder

The deadline for entries to the ULD rifle draw is this Saturday (Feb 29).  Details are back here, for those who’ve been living on the planet Manhattan till now.

All entries postmarked after this date will be returned, so get things rolling if you still want to participate.

If anyone would like to contribute further to my Boomershoot expedition this year (ammo, travel costs, shooting shelter, etc.), feel free to do so.  Just send your check with “BS Fund” on the Memo line, and I will accept your contribution with thanks.

Under Water

As some may be aware, the Brits have been getting slammed by storm after storm after storm, bringing rain, floods, gales, more rain, more floods, more gales, and now… snow.

Even the stiff upper lip of Mr. Free Market is trembling, as witnessed by something he sent me yesterday:

Although I must say that the views on the FM estate are quite lovely:

Yeah,I know: according to the global warmists, snowfalls in Britain were supposed to be a thing of the past.  So who are you going to believe:  a bunch of watermelon alarmists and panic-stirring journalists [some overlap], or your own lying eyes?

“Dear Dr. Kim”

“Dear Dr. Kim:
I would like more variety in sex but my wife is only interested in vanilla sex – and not much of that.  We got married when we were 18 and inexperienced.  It was the first serious relationship for both of us.  We are 46 now with two grown-up daughters.  Now should be our time but my wife has no interest in sex.  I told her I want to improve our sex life but she says sex is the last thing on her mind.  She hates her breasts being touched. She says oral sex does nothing for her and will not even allow me to try.  I now get it from her once every six months.  She says she can take sex or leave it but it is killing my spirit.  What advice do you have for me?”

— Sex-Starved Monkey

Dear Starved:

I am usually against the modern strain of advice which urges youngins to move in together before they’re married so that they can see if they’re sexually compatible.  Then every so often I see a situation like yours, and that advice doesn’t seem so bad after all.

You didn’t say what your sex life was like right after you got married and before you had kids, but I’m willing to guess that it wasn’t that great to start off with.  But that’s all water under the bridge, so let’s see what you can do now in order to get your leg over a little more often.

My advice is to start a new hobby, a solitary one which takes you out of the house for extended periods of time each week — birdwatching, target shooting, maybe fishing, something of that nature.  Start doing that as soon as possible, and invite the Ice Queen to join you — in fact, insist on her joining you for at least the first few times.  She’ll get bored eventually, and will refuse to come along with you.

Then, and only  then, is when you can get yourself a mistress.  Under cover of your hobby, you’ll have time a-plenty to indulge yourself in carnal pleasures such as oral sex and breast stroking of the non-aquatic variety.  Believe it or not, many women of your age have sympathy for men such as you and will gladly help you out.  It’s called “friends with benefits” nowadays, and it is far preferable to spending time and money on hookers.  (Avoid that option like the plague, because that’s precisely one of the risks, of course.)

There’s only one word of caution I have for you.  You may fall in love with Miss Part-Time, or she with you, or both with each other.  At that point, it’s Grown-Up Time:  you may have to make the decision whether you want to leave the Ice Queen and turn Miss Part-Time into Miss Full-Time.  (Or, gawd forbid, into Mrs. Full-Time.  Don’t do that unless you want your lovely new sex life to disappear like snow on a hot summer’s day.  Learn from your mistakes.)

On the other hand, if you love the Ice Queen despite the no-sex thing, or don’t want to risk leaving the poor excuse of marriage that you have, or realize that you can live with twice-a-year crap sex, then don’t do any of what I just said.  Do what countless men in your predicament do all over the world, and watch lots of Internet porn while wanking yourself into insensibility.  Don’t feel guilty about it, either:  the male sex urge is undeniable and pretty much unstoppable.  I’m not saying you should flaunt that activity in front of the Ice Queen, of course — a gentleman should be discreet about this kind of thing — but if she does catch you in flagrante delicto, do not apologize.  The fault is hers, not yours.  (If she freaks out and says, “I can’t live with a pervert like you”, then take her up on her unspoken invitation.)

One last, and possibly unworthy thought.  Did it ever occur to you that the Ice Queen doesn’t have a problem with sex, but only sex with you?  Are you a slob, or a boor or anything like that?  If you are, then that may be your problem, and not a frigid wife.  If you are not that guy, your wife may not want sex with you because she’s getting it somewhere else.  (I personally doubt it, but it’s worth looking into.)

Good luck, and happy wanking.

— Dr. Kim


Normal disclaimer / obligatory warning for stupid people:

Dr. Kim isn’t a doctor, doesn’t play one on TV (but has been known to do so with unsuspecting women on an ad-hoc basis).  His advice should be taken with a metric tonne of salt and two metric tonnes of humor, and should be followed with extreme care.  Dr. Kim takes no responsibility for outcomes of separation, violence, divorce or strange diseases stemming from the adoption of his advice.

Letters, I Get Letters

People who have trouble logging in through WordPress’s byzantine process, or people who just couldn’t be bothered with that, or people who don’t want to post publicly:  all these send me letters.  What follows is a reply to some of them, grouped more or less  by topic.

1) “Oh Kim, why do you post pictures of insanely-expensive guns, when you know that none of us could ever afford them / no gun is worth that much anyway?” 
— for the same reason I post pictures of, say, Salma Hayek.  Both objects of desire are way too expensive for ordinary men, would cost far too much to maintain, and are ripe targets for thieves.  Nevertheless, we have Ms. Hayek and a matched pair of Holland shotguns below — the guns, in this case, are likely far cheaper than Salma would be.  (Both pics may be right-clicked to embiggen.)

2)  “Have you considered the 6.5mm Creedmoor / 6.5mm PRC for the ULD rifle project?”
    — if I wanted to shoot a 6.5mm bullet at Boomershoot, I’d use my Mauser in 6.5x55mm Swede.  However, I’ve seen what a strong wind does to the 6.5 boolet, which is why I wanted something just a little heavier (like the .3x offerings), especially as Joe Huffman says they tend to work better than the lighter ones up there.  Also, I’m starting to get the feeling that the 6.5 Creed is going to end up like other exotica such as the .300 Win Short Mag and others:  a historical curiosity which may prompt future gunnies to ask, “What the hell were they thinking?”  (And yes, I know the .dotmil are looking at the cartridge, but let’s be honest:  historically, the military have not been renowned for their cartridge choices anyway — especially when after WWII they didn’t adopt the eminently sensible .276 / 7mm caliber, as the Brits suggested we do.  So we ended up eventually ditching the manly .30-06 and choosing the 5.56 poodleshooter, when a middle course — such as, now, the 6.5 Creedmoor — would have been a better choice at the time anyway.)

3)  “Can we get access to your earlier articles in the Nation of Riflemen / Other Side Of Kim websites?”
— sadly, no.  As it happens, even I can’t get hold of the posts — the link thereto seems to have disappeared — and other than the ones I’ve already reprinted, consider them gone.  (Frankly, most of that old content — even that of the Gratuitous Gun Pics — is very much dated by now, so it’s not as great a loss as you might think.)

4)  “Why do you link to the horrible Daily Mail so often?”
   —  mostly, it’s my guilty pleasure (I love reading trash), and also because it’s free (unlike most U.S. newspapers, who have decided that their content is more valuable than I think it is and want me to pay to read it).  I mean, where else could one find priceless headlines such as these, literally right next to each other?

Finally, the DM  offers me Train Smash Women on at least a weekly basis, and I am completely helpless in that regard.

Keep on writing, folks.

Oh, and one last thing:  if you wrote and haven’t yet got a reply from me, please resend your letter.  I get close to a hundred Reader emails per day, and in many cases, I put them aside for “I need to research that more before replying” or “I need to think about that a little before replying” reasons.  And of course, some fall through the cracks, for which I apologize profusely.  It’s not rudeness or even carelessness;  it’s just being a little too busy to keep them all in the air, so to speak.

Past The Sell-By Date

Okay, this one got a series of snorks from me, because I’m a sick bastard.  A sample:

All the comments are from women… and sadly, they’re more tragic than funny.

I think that Feminism, when viewed from a historical perspective, will prove to have become completely counter-productive (if not actually destructive) for women after the 1970s, simply because I think it was founded on a faulty premise:  unlike the famous saying, the fact is that you can’t have it all — never could, never will.  Life is a series of compromises, but some compromises are worse than others — women waiting to get married until they’re in their mid- to late thirties being a good example.

If you have daughters in their late teens or early twenties, feel free to pass this link on to them, as a warning.

Commentary

From Insty:

And as Berkely Breathed once wrote (more or less): “Exhausted by the depth of his political analysis, the reporter was forced to take a nap.”

Reading poll results isn’t analysis, it’s recital.