Two Events, One Day

From our insufferable apartment management comes this little bit of eco-silliness:

I refrained from pointing out that the energy required to manufacture the snacks and bottle and deliver the “free” water would vastly exceed the puny energy “savings” from our little complex.  Talk about “virtue-signaling”…

Now, what other momentous event occurred on April 20th?

Oh yeah, a birthday:

Wherever the bastard is, I hope the temperature is set to BROIL.

Again?

And the hits just keep on coming:

Southwest Airlines planes were grounded nationwide Tuesday for what the carrier called an intermittent technology issue.

But think of all the money they saved by not upgrading their systems for well over a decade…

I can’t really cast nasturtiums, though.  My laptop is five years old, I still use Windoze 10 and I haven’t downloaded upgrades to my 8-year-old printer, ever.  My car has nearly 130,000 miles on it, my 1911 has fired off close to 30,000 rounds and I still watch DVDs (never got into that blu-ray nonsense).  I even read Dead Tree books, not their electronic versions on Kindle, and I still love butter-fried eggs even though they’ll probably kill me.  The catalog of things in my life that have never been upgraded is voluminous.

But I’m just one guy, and not a billion-dollar corporation responsible for the lives of hundreds of thousands of people every year.

I Had A Dream

…but it wasn’t anything like Martin Luther King’s, or ABBA’s dream, nor about Joe Hill (no link because Commies), and sadly, it wasn’t about Cass Elliott.

No, I dreamed that a wealthy Reader (who looked a lot like Ginger Baker, FFS) offered to buy me three guns, with the caveat that they couldn’t be guns I’d owned before, nor any old guns at all — they could only be new guns.

At least it wasn’t cars, because then I’d have been in real trouble.

Anyway, I woke up without having made any choices, but the dream has kinda stuck with me all day.  And being prevented from getting a gun that I’ve owned before makes the list really short, because… well, you know.

So after some considerable thought, here they are, the top 3 guns I’d like to receive as a gift:

1 – Dan Wesson Valor (.45 ACP)

Some may consider this a cheat (because the 1911 is old, and I’ve owned several in the past);  in my defense, however, I’ve never owned a pocket 1911, nor anything made by Dan Wesson.  But I’d love to, and this one makes my bang-switch-actuator itch.  Badly.

2 – Ruger No. 1-S Medium (9.3x62mm)

Never owned a No. 1, nor any rifle in the venerable 9.3x62mm.  I would even consider going on an(other) African hunt (but with Doc Russia and Mr. Free Market) if I could take one of these.

3 –  A.H. Fox FE 20ga (as made new by Connecticut Shotgun Mfg. Company)

This beauty ticks all the Kim Boxes (side-by-side, double trigger, straight stock, 30″ barrels) and if the Dan Wesson was disqualified because rules, I’d just get a matched pair.  And then I’d head off to join Mr. FM in Dorset later in the year, you betcha…

Anyone else had a dream like this one?

New Devilment

…I mean development. As though Twinkies were not bad enough, the Hostess Baking Company has launched Bouncers.

“Wait, Kim… you mean like bouncing boobies?”

No.  I mean mini-Twinkies presented in sealed three-packs, but glazed — as though regular Twinkies were not sufficiently enticing.  (They kinda do look like mini-boobies, though.)

Of course, this being a full-service blog, I had to test them (so that my Loyal Readers won’t have to).

Verdict:  more than two (their “suggested servicing size” is three) will leave you “OMG-I’m-gonna-hurl” nauseated.

I had six.  Because Science.