Ho, yuss. From my area in North Texas comes this pleasing news:
One person is dead and another was taken to the hospital after an attempted robbery Tuesday night in northeast Dallas. The two had tried to rob a pizza delivery driver around 10:30 p.m. in the 8100 block of Southwestern Boulevard, Dallas police said.
The driver was armed and shot both suspects, police said. The driver was not wounded in the incident.
One suspect was 15 years old and the other was 17 years old, according to police records. One of them allegedly tried to run away during the incident but was later found. Officials had not identified the person that was killed as of Wednesday morning. The surviving suspect was arrested on a charge of aggravated robbery.
“After examining the totality of the evidence and interviews, the driver was released,” Dallas police said.
[pause to let the cheers and applause die down]
No doubt, the dead scumbag’s mother will have appeared on local TV proclaiming her grief and describing her progeny as a choirboy who had his whole life ahead of him and how Krool & Hartless it is that he’s now dead.
Just once, I want to see a parent show up on TV and say, “I told him all the time that if he did this shit, he’d end up dead one day. And here we are. As much as I mourn my loss, he had it coming, and I’m just glad he didn’t kill an innocent person.”
And pigs will fly past my window.
It’s not often that we get to applaud a self-administered Righteous Shooting, but this one deserves special mention as it happened in Britishland. Try not to burst out with raucous and joyful laughter as you follow the link, lest you frighten the other people at the office. Here’s a brief synopsis:
Choirboy wants to do a little impromptu (or maybe planned, see below) property redistribution by breaking into a parked car. Holding a shotgun, he smashes the butt thereof into the car window.
Thus far, all is happening as per usual in these cases. Here’s where it gets (wonderfully) different.
Perhaps being unaware of the maxim, “Keep the booger-hook off the bang-switch”, said choirboy has finger on the trigger, and when the shotgun’s butt hits the window, he pulls the trigger, blasting a full load of buckshot(?) into his own fool chest, and dying on the spot.
[pause to allow the laughter and cheering to subside]
But it gets better.
There is surveillance video (see the link) which shows the other members of the choir seeing what happened, holding him, trying to revive him, and generally wailing with shock and horror before running away.
Now you can howl with laughter, with my permission. And if this tragic tale doesn’t help you start the week with a smile on your face, you need help.
From Charlotte N.C. comes this wonderful news:
Police say a gas station customer was acting in self-defense when he took matters into his own hands Thursday morning, shooting two suspects who tried to rob the store.
Chaotic moments broke out just before 4am at the 7-Eleven in the 4800 block of Brookshire Boulevard.
Police say the two teenage suspects, identified as Qwanterrius Stafford and Brenna Harris, first robbed the customer of his wallet before turning their attention to the store clerk.
“They immediately went straight to him, pointed a gun at him, within inches of his face, very aggressively pointed a gun at him,” Sgt. Brian Scharf with CMPD said.
They had no idea that customer inside had a lawfully concealed gun until he fired shots at both suspects.
Stafford, 16, died inside the store, according to investigators. Harris, 17, got about a mile and a half away on Saratoga Drive before police took him into custody.
[pause to let thunderous applause, jeers and catcalls die down]
Given the names of the would-be property-redistributors, I’m not even bothering to play “guess the race” of the choirboys.
Suffice it to say:
Good Guy 1.5, Goblins 0
You may all go do your Happy Dance now.
Choirboy saunters up to a young woman on street corner, shows her a weapon and attempts a little involuntary financial redistribution, whereupon Our Heroine pulls her gun and shoots the little asshole in the neck, said wound eventually sending him to join Hell’s Chorus.
[pause to allow cheers and applause to die down]
This incident would be fairly unremarkable except that it happened on Chicago’s South Side, and the young lady in question had an Illinois carry permit (!!!), which as any fule kno is of hen’s teeth scarcity. [Note to the gun confiscators: this is how you reduce violent crime; not by disallowing law-abiding citizens to carry guns.]
Note too that this is an incident of gun violence (duh), but as any right-thinking person would agree, the right kind of gun violence.
(Thanks to Reader Brad_In_IL for the heartwarming report.)
When three men are raping your daughter and the police don’t give a damn, what’s a mother to do?
Grab a kitchen knife, set off after the bastards and stab the shit out of them, killing one and seriously injuring the others, is what.
Had this happened in Texas, the “Lion Mama” would have got a loud Attagirl! from the police; instead, she was charged with murder and two counts of attempted murder. Happily, the prosecutor saw sense (but only after a national outcry of furious hatred), and dropped the charges against her. The wounded assholes got twenty-five years each.
One wonders what she could have achieved had she been allowed to own a gun…
Escaped convict tries to break into a house (to steal food, cash, car keys etc. and/or to improve his prison love life with a little rapery), whereupon he learns, too late, that the lone housewife isn’t going to let him do any of that:
Bruce McLaughlin Jr., 30, was shot in the head by the woman after he kicked in her back door on Tuesday, according to Pickens County authorities.
After he entered the home, McLaughlin grabbed a knife sharpening tool from the kitchen and headed toward the woman’s bedroom around 3 a.m.
Of course, I don’t know whether the choirboy was going to do all that stuff, and now nobody will — which unsolved mystery is just fine by me. (I do wish the report would give us the good info: gun, chambering, type of cartridge etc. but let me not quibble over details.)
My favorite part of the story, however, is this:
Sheriff Rick Clark said the woman was home alone and had undergone concealed weapons training at some point prior to the incident.
“This was a big guy. If she hadn’t had a weapon there’s no telling what would have happened,” the sheriff said. “I gave her a big hug. I told her how proud I was of her.”
Clark said the incident was “a shining example” of why owning and knowing how to properly use a gun is important.
Can I hear a round of applause for both the Lady Shooter (HEAD SHOT!) and Sheriff Clark?