I don’t know how much more nannying I can stand. How about this one:
James Bond is a ‘severe’ alcoholic and should be offered medical help by his employer, M16, academics have said.
The… agent drinks a total of 109 drinks over 24 films – an average of 4.5 per film, an analysis by researchers at the University of Otago in New Zealand found.
His record binge in the Quantum of Solace (2008) saw 007, played by Daniel Craig, consume 24 units of alcohol in one sitting – ‘enough to kill some people’.
Well it didn’t kill him, did it?
MAYBE BECAUSE JAMES BOND IS A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!!!!
But it’s actually his employer’s fault, of course:
The authors suggested work-funded counselling or psychiatric support would be appropriate, considering he could have had post-traumatic stress after killing so many people and being tortured in films such as Casino Royale (2006) and Spectre (2015).
I could suggest a few others for torture and killing, but I’ll stop before I burst a blood vessel.
The best part (?) of all this bullshit is that the “study” was performed by some professors from a university in New Zealand, a sub-species not exactly renowned for their sobriety.
Myself, I think these so-called “academics” are totally fucking retarded, and need to be driven over a cliff.
In a short bus.