Here’s a story which provoked an instant RCOB from me:
A supermarket advert that was set to appear on the London Underground was rejected by rail bosses…
The poster, submitted by online food delivery company Farmdrop, featured a family gathered around a kitchen island with the tagline ‘fresher, fairer groceries delivered to your door’.
Here’s the ad’s pic. Try to spot why the thing was deemed offensive.
No, it wasn’t because one of the actors is a ginger. Here’s the actual reason the ad was rejected:
…because it contained bacon, butter, eggs and jam.
The only possible way I could have been more angered was if it was banned because it contains a picture of a chicken, and the vegans complained about that (I know, I shouldn’t give those poxy fuckers any ideas).
There’s only one remedy to overcome my rage at this point:
…and for the toast, some Irish butter and two of my favorite jams:
Bon appetit, y’all.
Then there’s this fearful nonsense:
[Tim Berners-Lee’s successor at CERN] Francois Fluckiger says privacy threats, fake news and online bullying threaten to turn the web into an uncontrollable force.
…and in other news, the descendants of Gutenberg’s printing press no longer print just Bibles.
The fact that some asshole even talks about “controlling” the web just makes me want to make this blog even more objectionable than it is. But I won’t, because I have standards. So here’s a simple and tasteful nature pic, instead.
Of course, it had to be a Swedish company which decided that government wasn’t enough, and that Something Had To Be Done:
Volvo will limit ALL of its cars to 112mph from next year in a bid to reduce the number of deaths caused by speeding
Of course, if anyone wants to drive fast and buys a Volvo, they’re fucking idiots.
Next up: Toyota’s Prius, because of this:
Vroom, vroom — or rather, Swooooshhhhhh!
…in this case, what happens when you elect a Socialist asshole vegan from New Jersey [some overlap] to Congress:
Sen. Cory Booker said in an interview published Tuesday that the continuation of meat-eating will destroy the planet.
“We will destroy our planet unless we start figuring out a better way forward when it comes to our climate change and our environment,” he added.
Despite his apocalyptic claims, Mr. Booker cautioned that he doesn’t want to ban meat-eating or even preach to people.
Of course you don’t, you lying fuckwit. You’re a Socialist: your kind has a collective orgasm by banning stuff and preaching to people because — wait for it — you know better than we do what’s good for us (and in this case, the planet). And vegans are even worse.
Go choke on a celery stick, Spartacus, and the sooner the better.
I don’t know how much more nannying I can stand. How about this one:
James Bond is a ‘severe’ alcoholic and should be offered medical help by his employer, M16, academics have said.
The… agent drinks a total of 109 drinks over 24 films – an average of 4.5 per film, an analysis by researchers at the University of Otago in New Zealand found.
His record binge in the Quantum of Solace (2008) saw 007, played by Daniel Craig, consume 24 units of alcohol in one sitting – ‘enough to kill some people’.
Well it didn’t kill him, did it?
MAYBE BECAUSE JAMES BOND IS A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!!!!
But it’s actually his employer’s fault, of course:
The authors suggested work-funded counselling or psychiatric support would be appropriate, considering he could have had post-traumatic stress after killing so many people and being tortured in films such as Casino Royale (2006) and Spectre (2015).
I could suggest a few others for torture and killing, but I’ll stop before I burst a blood vessel.
The best part (?) of all this bullshit is that the “study” was performed by some professors from a university in New Zealand, a sub-species not exactly renowned for their sobriety.
Myself, I think these so-called “academics” are totally fucking retarded, and need to be driven over a cliff.
In a short bus.