Dangerous Games

If you can’t laugh at this tragic tale, then you have a heart of stone:

A German woman who gave her lustful 73-year-old partner a lethal dose of sleeping pills to avoid his sex games and then kept his body in the bin has been jailed for seven years.
She admitted giving the pensioner the pills in June 2017 so that he would ‘be quiet and go to sleep,’ but denied an intention to kill him.
She told the court the pensioner’s sex games had become too much for her to bear.
According to the indictment, she failed to account for the quantity Viagra and the amount of alcohol consumed by Heinz, which enhanced the effects of the sleeping pills on the elderly man’s body.

Why didn’t she call the cops when she saw he was dead?  You have to read the rest of the story.  Try to avoid waking the other people in the office with yer ribald laughter.

And for those of you using Dr. Pfizer’s little miracle blue pills:  be careful out there.

Delicious Thought

I read SOTI that there is a better-than-50/50 chance that the bloated and loathsome Hollywood mogul [some overlap]  Harvey Weinstein may not be convicted for #MeToo DoublePlusUngood Sex Crimes after all.

I have no idea if this is true, of course, but should this happen, Evil Kim is cackling his ass off at the probable feministical reaction.

Hasten the day…

Us Vs. Them

What women see:

“OMG, look how beautiful that sea is, and the islands are so romantic, and look! there’s a cruise ship out there, I wonder what the view’s like from the ship?”

What men see: 

…and don’t try to deny it.

Way To Go, Roger

I always liked this guy, as much for his ability as his quiet, classy sportsmanship.  And here’s further reason why I should:

Roger Federer has revealed that he refuses to sleep in a bed without his wife of almost a decade by his side.
The Swiss-born tennis ace, 37, who is widely considered the greatest male player of all time, admitted that his wife, children and friends come first, despite his passion for the sport.
In an interview with The Sunday Times, Federer explained that his wife, whom he married in 2009, and their two sets of twins, who are home-schooled, travel everywhere with him when he is on tour.

Gives new meaning to the term “family man”, doesn’t it?.  And yeah, his massive income makes that lifestyle possible.  Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t applaud him for doing the right thing.

Predictably, Ishmael has an even better (and funnier) take on Federer’s grace and class.

And just for a bonus:  some Federer magic.  Enjoy.

Standards, Double, Women For The Use Of

There’s this rather foul old aristocratic trot in Britishland who, at age 69, has declared that she has no interest in making whoopee with a man her own age, but would be quite willing to do the nasty with someone close to half that.

Granted, she was quite a looker in her heyday (around the time of the Normandy landings, that is):

…but alas, she is no fine French wine and has not aged well at all.  Like most once-beautiful women, she’s carried the arrogance of beauty way past its sell-by date and now she’s just pathetic.

I have to ask myself a few things:  firstly, what kind of 35-year-old man would even consider paging through the wrinkles to find her rather cobwebby Garden Of Delight;  secondly, what narcissism allows her to think that she could set that demand and have it fulfilled, and thirdly, why doesn’t she get called a “dirty old devil” as an old man most certainly would if he announced that he was only only interested in jumping a college coed?

Ah fuck it, I know the answers to all three questions, and they’re profoundly depressing.

Most depressing of all, though, is that the old harridan has no shame in announcing all this to the entire nation on TV.  One would hope that someone of her generation would have more manners, modesty or class, but I suppose that as the titled old bat has probably had more pricks than a pin cushion, she probably doesn’t care.

Fach.

Actually, the reason she wouldn’t bonk a man of her age is that most of us would see through her bullshit and decline the offer, whereas some younger fool would be taken in by her title, celebrity and whatever other reasons why young fools bonk someone of their Nana’s age.

In Other News, Dogs Chase Cats

I’ve never been involved in the movie business at all, so I’m not really qualified to comment on this story (not that this has ever stopped me before):

Alexa Chung has revealed how she was once ordered to strip by a movie producer while being auditioned for a role. In a worrying #MeToo moment, the model was told to remove her clothes so that the exec could see what she looked like naked.
Addressing the Oxford Union, Alexa said: ‘He told me to strip because he needed to see what I looked like naked for a scene that required it.’

Okay, let’s all accept the fact that the whole casting thing could just turn into an opportunity for men to catch a free look at naked women.  (In other news, Gen. Custer seems to be having some difficulties with the Sioux.)  And yeah yeah, that’s just awful and terrible etc. etc.

I have some parallel thoughts, however:  if you are auditioning for a part where you’re going to be filmed in the nude, don’t be shocked when you’re asked to show what you look like naked.  If you’re Julia Roberts, for example, you can turn down such demands because you’re going to get a body double anyway — they’re casting the face, not your ironing-board body.  But if you’re a nobody, you can’t really turn it down because appearing or performing in the nude is one of the reasons you’re being cast at all and if we’re going to be blunt about it, if you have some blemish (e.g. saggy boobs or a large birthmark), the producer is not going to hire a body double for a nobody.  

The other thought is that the director has to be sure that when he films a scene — any scene, let alone a nude one — he has to be sure that viewers concentrate on what he’s trying to show, not on the fact that Second Actress From The Left has one breast considerably larger than the other.

So while I can sympathize with this Alexa Chung (whoever she is) because of the voyeur thing, I can also see things from the other side of the desk, so to speak.  I should also point out that this woman is an ex-model, and didn’t seem to have too many qualms about being naked anyway:

And here’s another thought:  a producer asking to see what you look like on the nude is not a Harvey Weinstein/#MeToo moment;  a producer wanting you to fuck him to get the part, is.

We can also talk about why nude modelling or nude scenes in movies are necessary at all, but that’s a topic for another post.