Lifeline

I have the best Readers on the Internet, bar none.  That’s not sucking up, that’s a statement of fact.

When I put out my call for help last week, I had no idea what the response would be, mostly because everyone’s having pretty much the same kind of trouble I am, and let’s be honest, this blog is pretty thin gruel as a platform on which to base an appeal.

This is not a blog which offers legal advice, or medical advice, or even soft stuff which feeds the soul like movie reviews or stuff like that.  All you get for your visit is, well, all the stuff you see if you hit the “page back” buttons at the bottom:  guns, women, anger, commentary, vitriol and the occasional review of stuff I like that others may not be aware of, e.g. Dutch metal, an unknown artist or some obscure gun.

What I was not prepared for was the generosity and the breadth of your response to my appeal, which has been, in a word, astonishing.  Just so you know, you’ve basically kept the wolf from the door by enabling me to pay some large and unexpected costs, most especially a massive medical bill for New Wife, and a couple more of similar magnitude.  Were I still Ubering, I could have taken care of most of that just by working longer hours (as I have in the past), but with the Uber business drying up completely, that was no longer an option.

Instead, I can breathe freely for the next few weeks until the insanity is over and I can get back to work again.  And if all goes well, when the self-isolation and lockdowns go away and life can creep back to normal, New Wife can finally get a job so we can actually start saving.

We can but hope.

So on behalf of both Angie and myself, please accept our humblest and most grateful thanks.  Whether by small Patreon contributions or by larger single amounts, you my Readers have taken untold stress out of our life.

In return, while I’m still self-isolating (not splendidly, by the way — how ironic is that title now?) I promise to continue this blog with even greater zeal than I have before.  One Reader used these words (paraphrased, lest he be embarrassed):  “When your old website went dark before, I missed it badly — and if I can help it, that’s never going to happen again.”  Others said similar wonderful things, and all I can say is that you made New Wife cry, because she doesn’t know you like I do and was completely blindsided.

And using my isolation to good effect:  in a couple of weeks’ time, I will have completed a long-promised but creatively-blocked novel, which I will put on sale through Kindle so that everyone reading this can get one, for about the price of a lottery ticket.

It’s often said that “Words cannot express my gratitude” and that’s very true, but I’ve nevertheless tried to do so here, and I hope I’ve succeeded.

Thank you all, and bless every one of you for your generosity, kind words and support.

Longevity

The old joke goes:

Q: “Why do men die sooner than women?”
A:  Because they want to.

I think the same is true of this study:

A DAILY tipple nearly doubles a man’s hope of hitting 90, a study says.
Those on half a pint of beer a day are 81 per cent more likely than teetotallers to reach a tenth decade.

That’s because we drinkers are kept alive by thinking things like “Only five more days till Friday night pub time!” — whereas non-drinkers have fuck-all to look forward to and their bodies simply shut down out of either hopelessness or boredom.

For precisely the same two reasons, this may be why meat-eaters live longer than vegans.

Anyway, whatever it all means, I know that right at this moment it’s Pub Time at the King’s Arms in All Cannings, Wilts, so I’m going to join The Englishman and others of that ilk by opening a life-extending pint (and I know it’s not Wadworth 6X, but London Pride is all I can get Over Here — a rant for another time).

Cheers, y’all.

A Good Pardon

Most presidential pardons rub me up the wrong way (e.g. Bill Clinton’s of Marc Rich) because there always seems to be something sleazy and underhanded about the people involved.

But God-Emperor Trump hasn’t put a foot wrong, and especially so with Michael Milken (who I always thought got a rough deal from the Justice Department).

Indeed, there’s an old saying that “banks only lend to you when you don’t need the money.” Milken understood this truth all too well, having discovered in the 1970s that other than for the bluest of blue-chip businesses, growth financing was exceedingly difficult to come by for the 99% of businesses that weren’t blue chip, or investment grade. Financial institutions operated on the assumption that the present predicted the future. Not so Milken. His research revealed the opposite.
Milken discovered that a corporation’s balance sheet generally measured yesterday, not tomorrow. And so he set about “democratizing” access to capital. Having attended UC Berkeley in the 1960s, Milken had embraced the desire of some within the student body to improve society. He would work tirelessly to change the world for the better too, but as he once put it, “Unlike other crusaders from Berkeley, I have chosen Wall Street as my battleground for improving society because it is here that government institutions and industries are financed.” There are no companies, no jobs, and there is no progress without investment, and Milken would vastly improve the world around him through skillful development of the companies not recognized by traditional banks and investment banks, but that would be greatly enhanced through bespoke finance.

Read the rest of the piece to get the whole story.

Eternal Life

I have to tell you that if this is true, a lot of men I know are going to live for a VERY long time*.

Masturbation boosts your immune system, helping you fight off infection and illness

So take that, Coronavirus.

“What’s the difference between your girlfriend and a good wank?”
You can’t beat a good wank.

And now, if you’ll excuse me… oh shuddup, it’s for my health.


*This does not apply to actual  wankers, e.g.:

Meanwhile In Texas

I confess to being a tad parochial when I see headlines like this:

‘Oil price war,’ coronavirus could drive gas prices below $2 gallon

I’ve been paying around $1.85 for over a month — and below $2 since early January.  As much as I hope the lower prices won’t blow the fracking industry up, I’m enjoying the benefits of a lower cost of business — so gawd knows how the trucking industry must feel about it.

I note, however, that the godless airline industry — ever quick to raise prices when the gas price spikes — have not yet reduced their fares.  Pricks.

Rolling Back The Tide

While the incompetent asswipe known as President #44 never saw a process that shouldn’t be controlled by Gummint, God-Emperor Trump and his crew disagree — especially when faced with a real  emergency:

The Trump administration has rolled back a Food And Drug Administration rule instituted by President Barack Obama that has stalled coronavirus testing at the state level.
The rule in question previously required state-run laboratories to only run medical tests pre-approved by the F.D.A.
“We believe this policy strikes the right balance during this public health emergency,” said FDA Commissioner Stephen M. Hahn of the rule change. “We will continue to help to ensure sound science prior to clinical testing and follow-up with the critical independent review from the FDA, while quickly expanding testing capabilities in the U.S.
“This action today reflects our public health commitment to addressing critical public health needs and rapidly responding and adapting to this dynamic and evolving situation.”

And so say all of us.  No doubt, Obama’s minions wouldn’t have cared if a thousand people died (e.g. the H1N1 episode), as long as everything was being controlled by the federal government.  And now a medical opinion: