I must confess that I have been disappointed in Aintree this year. In times past, we have been treated to Train Smash Women Central, where almost every oversized Scouse totty has been poured into an undersized dress, where the skin on display has been a.) too bountiful and b.) covered with tattoos, and where the opening of the on-course pubs has led to public intoxication of epic levels.
Not so this year. In fact, the Ladies of Aintree have been, by their past deplorable standards, quite demure and — well, “classy” may be taking the thing a little too far — but they showed a touch of good taste seen not just in one or two cases, but all over the place. Witness:
…where except for the oversized red number, the women look quite decent. And others followed suit:
Well, this is all very well, but I don’t go to the Daily Mail’s Aintree coverage to see pictures of well-dressed women, just as people don’t go to car races to admire the teams’ colors. We want Train Smash Women, tattoos, drunkenness, and in the latter case, multi-car pile-ups, FFS.
Thankfully, Aintree finally woke up and reverted to character (twice)… and not only in terms of the women.
They’d better bring the Train Smash Women back next year, though. On to… Ascot, I think. Let’s hope we have better luck there.
Actually, Day 2 at Aintree 2019 started off quite well, with a lot of, shall we say, more restrained outfits than in times past:
But then as the morning went on, more people arrived and the pubs opened, there were the predictable results:
But hey… compared to past Aintrees, this one was quite restrained. Personally, I blame the Labour Party.
Let’s see what Saturday brings.
Yes, as promised a couple weeks back, it’s time for this website’s annual face-first plunge into the trough of Train Smash Women at the Aintree races over in Liverpool, Britishland, which started today. And how better to begin, than with these creatures:
How about a group pic:
…and all these pics were taken before the pubs opened. And then they did:
All that said, it was a little windy:
…and rainy (because duh, Liverpool):
But why should I have all the fun to myself? Hie thee hence to the today’s report, and enjoy the sights. Just remember: tomorrow (I think) is Ladies Day.
I can’t wait.
Oh, and how did the Train Smash Women fare on Valentine’s Day this year? Magnificently.
I give but a few examples to errrr whet the appetite:
I can’t get enough of this stuff…
For an explanation of the phenomenon known as Train Smash Women, go here.
A couple of years ago, the Daily Mail featured this creature in their coverage of the races at Aintree (Liverpool):
I know; no man should, right? Well, apparently the young lady saw the pic of herself, came to the same conclusion and did something bout it. The following year at Aintree produced this pic:
Yikes. Were it not for the tattoos on the feet [sigh], you wouldn’t know it was the same girl. Again:
Alas, thanks to the current trend towards radical feminism (“Your body is beautiful no matter what it looks like!”), coupled with the usual suspects (booze, bad diet, etc.), American girls seem to be headed in the opposite direction.
Try not to throw up.
Sad, especially when you learn that all the changes took place inside the space of a couple of years.
But hey… it’s a free country, so to speak, and these women should be able to abuse themselves as they please — just as men can exercise their choice and not date them unless there’s drunkenness and/or sheer desperation involved.
And the parade of Train Smash Women continues at Aintree, on the inaptly-named Ladies Day:
…and just to prove my point, here’s my favorite Train Smash Woman of all, the wonderful Lisa Appleton:
Speaking of umbrellas, here’s one who matched her brolly not with her outfit, but with her tattoo:
Amazingly (and unusually for Aintree), not all the women were hideous:
…albeit sometimes quite alarming:
…but “pretty” ain’t the way to bet at the Grand National:
And there was so much more to come when the booze started to flow…
I know, I’m so weak. I just can’t help myself. Moth, meet candleaaaaaargh….
I love them all, these Train Smash Women.