Fashion Stakes

From Deepest (and very much) Darkest Souf Effrica, Alert Reader Trevor W. reminds me that this past weekend saw the running of the Durban July Handicap, the country’s richest horse race (equivalent to Melbourne’s Gold Cup and America’s Kentucky Derby).  I asked him to send me pictures, thinking there’d be some Train Smash Women — and there were, just not of the kind one would imagine.

You see, “The July” is the day when fashion designers indulge their wildest fantasies Over There — and when you add the natural Seffrican penchant for vivid colors, you get stuff like this:

Dude looks like a lady, to coin a phrase…

Then you have the hats (or maybe it’s one of the PA speakers, I dunno):

What looks like yellow caterpillars on the guy, and an exploded pillow on the woman:

And there wasn’t even a breeze…

And did I mention that this was in Africa?  Just in case anyone missed the idea:

By Aintree standards, these are quite demure:

Then my favorite group pic, simply because of the Token White Chick on the left, who looks positively dowdy by comparison:

But the spirit of Aintree is alive and well, even in Durban:

No man should.

Now, as a kind of brain scrubber, let’s look at Wimbledon over the same weekend:

And my favorite of them all (guess why), the exquisite Eleanor Tomlinson (from the awful Poldark  TV series):

In fact, let’s look at a couple more of Miss Eleanor just for the hell of it:

As the great Roger Sterling said about redheads:  “It’s like a drop of strawberry jam in a saucer of milk.”

Royal Ascot 2019

It is the Queen’s Race, is Ascot, and as the old girl is getting up there, one feels the need to chronicle the event.  Certainly, HM herself looked as elegant as always:

Of course, rather less can be said of various of her subjects, however (warning:  link contains pics of Piers Morgan):

I know, I know… it’s my fatal weakness, these Train Smash Women.  Every single one of them  is going to wake up in the morning regretting at least three  decisions made the day before.

Some of the ladies were at least more or less presentable:

…and a few were even quite comely (if one ignores the millinery):

And of course, Charlotte Hawkins (cf. yesterday) looked lovely:

And so it goes…

Way-Too-Grand National

I must confess that I have been disappointed in Aintree this year.  In times past, we have been treated to Train Smash Women Central, where almost every oversized Scouse totty has been poured into an undersized dress, where the skin on display has been a.) too bountiful and b.) covered with tattoos, and where the opening of the on-course pubs has led to public intoxication of epic levels.

Not so this year.  In fact, the Ladies of Aintree have been, by their past deplorable standards, quite demure and —  well, “classy” may be taking the thing a little too  far — but they showed a touch of good taste seen not just in one or two cases, but all over the place.  Witness:

…where except for the oversized red number, the women look quite decent.  And others followed suit:

Well, this is all very well, but I don’t go to the Daily Mail’s Aintree coverage to see pictures of well-dressed women, just as people don’t go to car races to admire the teams’ colors.  We want Train Smash Women, tattoos, drunkenness, and in the latter case, multi-car pile-ups, FFS.

Thankfully, Aintree finally woke up and reverted to character (twice)… and not only in terms of the women.

They’d better bring the Train Smash Women back next year, though.  On to… Ascot, I think.  Let’s hope we have better luck there.

Train Smash Time!

Yes, as promised a couple weeks back, it’s time for this website’s annual face-first plunge into the trough of Train Smash Women at the Aintree races over in Liverpool, Britishland, which started today.  And how better to begin, than with these creatures:

How about a group pic:

…and all these pics were taken before  the pubs opened.  And then they did:

All that said, it was a little windy:

…and rainy (because duh, Liverpool):

But why should I have all the fun to myself?  Hie thee hence to the today’s report, and enjoy the sights.  Just remember: tomorrow (I think) is Ladies Day.

I can’t wait.