Category: Funny Stuff

Yeah, Whatever

Gratuitous Chick Pics, Sports, Train Smash Women

Here’s a big nothingburger for you:

The Jockey Club have taken the dramatic decision to cut the Randox Grand National field size by 15 per cent to safeguard the Aintree spectacular’s future.

Next April, the world’s most famous race will see a maximum of 34 runners go to post instead of 40. The Jockey Club, who run Aintree, believe it is imperative to make the move now and say they have taken the decision in the interest of the health and safety of all human and equine participants.

News flash: nobody cares.  The only reason most people (including me and my Readers) show any interest in Aintree at all is this:

 

Yep;  Train Smash Women, in all their magnificent failures.  The races?  Only for the owners and jockeys.

Dept. Of (Self) Righteous Shootings

Crime, Morons & Idiots

Rule #1 when handling all loaded firearms, children?

Keep the booger-hook off the bang-switch!

Seems like this scrote didn’t get the memo:

A carjacker died after he accidentally blasted himself in the chest while trying to smash a window with the butt of his shotgun, an inquest has heard.

Officers investigating the death of Reece Ramsey-Johnson said they were satisfied there was ‘no third party involvement’ as they closed the probe into his killing.

Witnesses who saw the 22-year-old dying from gunshot wounds in the street outside a Lloyds bank in Sydenham on Sunday, September 8, said his own gun may have gone off when he used to to hit a car window.

Opening the inquest at Southwark Coroner’s Court on Thursday September 26, Dr Andrew Harris confirmed the police investigation had now ended.

He said: ‘The investigating officer is satisfied there is no third party involvement.

You may now do what I did when I first saw the report (and thanks to all who sent it to me):

Oh and by the way:  criminals are not allowed to possess firearms in Britishland, so this report may be Russian disinformation. [/eyecross]

Quote Of The Day

Morons & Idiots

From some houri  OTI:

“I don’t have sex on Friday the 13th, it could end a relationship.”

…or end up in a relationship, depending.  Triskaidekaphobia  at its finest.

I’m reminded of the old Jewish question:  “What makes this day different from all others?”

In this chick’s case, probably that.

3 Dubious Announcements

3 Inexplicable Things

Here they are:  worse even than INSIGNIFICA, these are announcements of things that should inspire fear, loathing or projectile vomiting rather than amusement or amazement:

Okay, the Freebird/Dolly thing struck me the same way as the collaboration between Deep Purple’s Ian Gillan and Luciano Pavarotti:  “Why?”

The Kardashian coven:  as far as I recall, it all started with the “leak” of a video of Kim Kardashian fucking her boyfriend.  Once you’ve done that in front of a camera, all the rest is simple.

As for the Crocs announcement… I hear hoofbeats.