Frying Pan, Meet Gas Ring

I will never forget reading some thread online where an Austinite was moaning about all the Californians moving to Austin for the tech jobs — and complaining that they were too conservative for Austin.

I hate to break it to y’all, but if you leave California because you’re surrounded by liberals and have lost your “political voice”, and then move to Austin TX (!!!), that isn’t moving at all.  You’ve just exchanged the world’s best climate for an oven, you’re still going to be surrounded by liberal assholes, and your political voice will be drowned out again, this time by liberal Texas twang.  As Mark Pulliam discovered.

So Pulliam is leaving Austin and Texas, and moving to Tennessee.  Given his poor decision-making history, he’s probably heading for Nashville.

Might as well just move to Greenwich Village and have done with it.

Fat Ass

I haven’t ever understood the fascination with a fat ass on a woman.  I know the anthropological reasons in primitive societies — where a wife’s ass was an indicator of her husband’s success, i.e. the better he fed her, the better provider he was — but I never understood the fascination for lard-assed women in the civilized world, and nor do these guys.

I know, I know:  this post is useless without some kind of pictorial underpinning. [sigh]

…and that’s one of the least offensive examples out there.  A single trip to WalMart… well, you know the rest.  (No such pic posted, on humanitarian grounds.)  And in any event, I speak not of the genus walmarta  — those women who become pear-shaped either through diet, childbirth or unfortunate genetic background;  I speak here of those vain modern women who have fat or worse injected into their posteriors to plump them out deliberately.

Anecdotally, a Black (female) friend once told me that Black women have fat asses as a protection against their male counterparts’ predilection for anal sex:  “It keeps them further back” — but I don’t buy that, unless that’s the primal cause for Black men to have larger-than-average dicks, I dunno.  Maybe, in the case of the Kardashian coven, the butt enlargements are simply done as an attractant for their favorite choice of partner (i.e. wealthy Black men).

Whatever.

What I do know is that this female trend towards buttock-amplification is pretty moronic, even when matched against female stupidity such as spending untold dollars on crap like anti-aging creams and potions (none of which work).

And I, for one, am not a huge fan thereof.  In fact, were it not for her superstructure, I’d find Carol Vorderman quite unappealing.

But hey, as the man said:  “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.”

Within the bell curve, however, something that would occur more towards the middle — such as that as shown by Diogenes in his weekly series — is far more appealing:

What I also find unattractive, by the way, are those who inhabit the left-hand  side of the same bell curve:  the snake-hipped, flat-buttocked women of the runway model kind (which may also explain my disdain for the average Chinese or Japanese woman, few of whom seem to have any buttocks at all).

As with all things, sufficiency  is what we strive for.

Except when it comes to boobage.  Even I have my limits.

Snowflake Report

Good grief, why bother to go if clapping is going to intimidate you?

Snowflake students at Oxford University are the latest to demand that clapping should be banned because applause noise can trigger anxiety and want ‘jazz hands’ to be used instead.
The idea for a British sign language alternative for clapping involving the waving of hands was put forward at the student union’s first meeting of the year on Tuesday.
Sabbatical Officers Roisin McCallion, Vice President for Welfare and Equal Opportunity and Ebie Edwards Cole, Chair for Oxford SU Disabilities Campaign, successfully passed the motion to mandate the encouragement of silent clapping.

My suggestion is that for “clapping”, substitute “slapping”, but no doubt some fainting fairy is going to have a problem with that too.  And if the noise of clapping triggers that much anxiety in them, I wonder how they’d react to gunshots.

And note the caption for a couple of the pics:

Sabbatical Officers Roisin McCallion (left), Vice President for Welfare and Equal Opportunity and Ebie Edwards Cole (right), Chair for Oxford SU Disabilities Campaign, successfully passed the motion to mandate the encouragement of silent clapping

Yep, that’s what education is all about.  “Sabbatical Officer and VP Welfare and Equal Opportunity”, my aching ass.

And to think that one of my greatest dreams once was to attend Oxford.

Unreality

Amidst this whole LGBTOSTFU nonsense, I would have thought that certain biological manifestations were pretty much set in stone, so to speak — such as women’s menstrual periods.  Apparently not:

Transgender lobby forces sanitary towel-maker Always to ditch Venus logo from its products

Why?

…the decision [was made]  by makers Procter & Gamble (P&G) to kowtow to trans activists who were born female and still use sanitary products.

So let’s get this straight (ahem): someone born a woman who “transitions” into a man will get offended by the Venus logo?  Because gawd forbid a dude should get his eyes crossed by having to use a sanitary towel with a drawing  on its label?

After I stopped laughing, I decided on the following policy.

As far as I’m concerned, if you still have a penis, you’re a man, no matter what the rest of your body looks like.  (That means you, Caitlin Bruce Jenner, even if you were voted Woman of the Year by some morons.)  And if you call yourself Macho Man, feel like a man (whatever that means) but still have a functioning vagina needing tampons etc., you’re still a woman.

End of story, end of statement, end of this fucking insanity.

I Warned You

When I said that these assholes were going to start imposing their stupid religion on the rest of us, and we should just start shooting them dead in the streets and firebombing their restaurants, everyone said, “Oh noes, Kim… that would be Krool & Hartless!

I speak here not of Muslims, but of vegans:

The group is called Animal Rebellion and its quest to force Britons into compulsory veganism is about to become very high profile. Over the coming days, the organisation is expected to bring thousands of supporters onto the streets, potentially causing serious disruption to the country’s food supplies.
One speaker says: ‘It doesn’t matter if you are the nice one who didn’t want to get arrested, or you’re the one at the front who did. Everyone who goes down there [to London] has to be aware of that, and make sure it’s not going to be stopped by a few people getting pulled away [by the police].’

As the alien cockroach said to Vincent D’Onofrio in Men In Black, “Challenge accepted.”

Or, for those of us who are more old-fashioned in these matters and want to prevent Sherman engine emissions because #SaveThePlanet:

Your suggestions in Comments — and I would suggest that as these little totalitarian bastards get all upset at the sight of blood, the more bloodthirsty your solutions, the better the irony.  Have at it.

Glimpse Of Sanity

At least someone seems to have held onto what nowadays passes for commonsense (and what in the old days would have been a slam-dunk):

George Conisbee, 20, told an employment tribunal that he was picked on for not eating meat while he was a waiter and barman at Lord Somerleyton’s historic hotel on his estate near Lowestoft, Suffolk.
But his claim was thrown out after the tribunal ruled that vegetarianism was a ‘lifestyle choice’ which was not protected under the 2010 Equality Act.

That would ordinarily be filed under “Blindingly Obvious”… but wait till you see on what grounds this little tit of a snowflake had filed his complaint:

He claimed that being vegetarian was ‘a protected characteristic’, giving him the same rights as employees who suffer discrimination over their religious beliefs or sexual orientation.

Veggie as a religion;  as if we needed any more proof that these tossers are total fucking nutcases.  (Or maybe “fucking nutcase” is a sexual orientation?  They’ll be claiming that, next.)

Oh, and he wasn’t fired for being a veggie — although I for one might use that as grounds for termination.  He was fired for arriving for work dressed like a slob (and I bet it wasn’t the first time, either).  All the rest was just a pathetic attempt to get his job back.

Finally, some sanity.