Monday Funnies

Yep.  That’s a Monday right there (in north Wales, as global warming tightens its grip). So to cheer up:

But enough of that horribleness.  Time for something… beautiful.

Now get out there and kick some ass.

News Recap

…in which I summarize snippets of news that I couldn’t be bothered to spend more time over.

  1. Disney Corporation reinstates some director I’ve never heard of to make a movie I’m never going to see — yeah, whatever.  Falling tree, meet forest.
  2. Gummint assholes make a guy park somewhere else and try to destroy his business because his bumper sticker hurt their feewings — actually, his bumper sticker (Black Rifles Matter) simultaneously satirizes an anarcho-racist movement and makes a pro-Constitutional freedom statement.  Anyone know where I can get one?
  3. Piers Morgan talks a load of bullshit (again) — I know, not really news.  [totally unnecessary warning:  link contains Piers Morgan]
  4. Chelsea Clinton accused of  helping incite New Zealand massacre — you couldn’t cut irony this thick with a chainsaw.
  5. Senator Elizabeth Warren (1/1024 part-Cherokee) has no sympathy for parents who attempted to corrupt the college admissions process — where can I get my chainsaw sharpened?
  6. The French are revolting (again) — there’s only one answer to all this for granny-grabbing FrogPM Macron:  ban the weekend!  And finally:
  7. Kids skip classes (but for a “good cause”) — creates two (largely rhetorical) questions:  1) given how totally shit the public school system is (regardless of country), was this absence actually a better thing for the kids? and 2) will this mass walkout actually achieve anything concrete in affecting “climate change”?  (All those who attempted to answer “yes” to the latter question, put on the Dunce cap and go stand in the corner.)

Cartoon of the week (via Insty, thence Power Line):

Think of it as visual evidence of this thesis.

Dude… Seriously?

Is it so wrong that this headline made me howl with laughter?

Argentine doctor is arrested for ‘masturbating on a 27-year-old patient’s back while performing an ultrasound on her genitals’

I’m creating the visual, here… sorry, I have to go to the toilet because otherwise my pants will become unsanitary.

Okay, I’m better now.

However, there is a serious aspect to this episode.  Using gun restrictionists’ logic, therefore, we need to ban these assault ultrasound devices (“assault” in that they enable perverts to sexually assault their female patients) and furthermore, all doctors should have to pass a state background check for masturbatory impulses.

Hey, if it can save just one  back from being jizzed on, right?