Monday Funnies

Wherein we drag ourselves out of bed to face the horror of another week… wait a minute, it’s Martin Luther King Day!!!  (a.k.a the holiday celebrated by many, while others go “Who?”)

Now on to the serious funnies [sic]

And to celebrate MLK Day properly, what better than a quickie with some vintage Pam Grier?

Would.  And so would anyone.  Now get off that lounger and celebrate the day.

Speechless

Some time back I read this article about Germany, and filed it away because at the time, it actually rendered me speechless.  I’m still dumbfounded, but let me give it a shot anyway.

The executive summary is that as migrant North African men have turned rape into a spectator sport in Germanland, more people are getting gun licenses and guns for self-protection.  The response from the Kraut gummint has been predictable:

A survey of Germany’s 16 states revealed that 640,000 citizens are now able to carry a weapon. This number was only 260,000 in 2014.
In total there are 5.4 million privately owned guns with the proportion of licence holders being highest in Schleswig-Holstein, reports thelocal.
The Union of Police said ‘more and more people feel insecure’ since the sexual assaults on women outside Cologne Cathedral on New Year’s Eve 2015.
Germany has seen a number of high profile sex attacks since more than 200 women came forward to say they were assaulted during Cologne’s festivities.
Police later revealed that the majority of suspects were said to be of North African origin.
Union of Police chairman Oliver Malchow said the rise was sparked by a ‘latent feeling on insecurity’ in the population.
He added: ‘The problematic increase in small arms licenses shows that we need to work to restore a sense of security to many citizens.’

Trust a fucking bureaucrat cop to think that an increase in gun ownership in response to lawlessness is a “problem”, whereas we all know that the real  problem is mass rape, and the unwillingness of the Kraut courts to cut the rapists’ pee-pees off in the town square for Saturday entertainment.

Hey, Herr Gewerkschaftsvorsitzender  Malchow you fucking weasel functionary, here’s a tip:  if you’re feeling squeamish about the peasants arming themselves, then you need to tell your cops to start dealing with the problem in a manner designed to discourage the behavior.   Then the people won’t feel deserted by the law and its enforcers, and feel the need to help themselves when the fucking cops can’t or won’t protect them.

As the old saying goes, the primary function of the State is to monopolize the use of violence by denying it to the populace.  Here’s a classic example of just that.  Our Oliver sees people arming themselves as the problem, and not the behavior of foreigners which gives rise to that (very understandable) reaction.

And this, I don’t have to tell you, is the endgame of the socialists who have seized control of the Democrat Party:  a disarmed, fearful citizenry dependent on police protection from the predations of others.

Well, fuck that.  Here’s a suggested antidote to the problem above, in our local context:

Too bad ordinary Germans can’t get their hands on one of these beauties., but I think they have enough choices not to worry too much about it…

…until this prick Malchow decides that genug ist genug, and sends his policemen round to confiscate all those licensed handguns, seeing as the cops know who all the gun owners are, and which guns they own.  All in the name of safety, of course.

Now, what was that about the Democrats’ plans in Virginia…?

Old Joke

This is the French estate of Vaux-le-Vicomte (right-click to embiggen in another tab):

While impressive, the picture doesn’t do it justice:  past the top of the pic is a series of man-made waterfalls which sends something like half a million gallons of water a day down the hill, where it ends up in the ponds and eventually in the moat which surrounds the main house.  The water is then filtered and pumped back up to the reservoir at the top of the hill, to start its trip back down all over again*.

Anyway, I showed this pic to a friend, who said, “Wow, I’d hate to have to do all the gardening there!”

To which I made the age-old response:  “Nah… give me a dozen Mexicans and I’d do it myself.”

I did warn you in the title…


*If you want to know how it all works, Monty Don explains it in his Netflix show, French Gardens.

News Roundup

Short — kinda like Michael Bloomberg — takes on the news.

1) Australian Navy Delivers 800 Gallons of Emergency Beer to Bushfire-Hit Townonly 800?  Can’t have been more than a dozen survivorsAt least the Oz squids have their priorities right.  The US Navy would have brought in useless shit like water, without Scotch.

2) Bernie Sanders garners the Slut endorsementthat figures [sic].  Here’s the slut in question:

3) Everybody Blames Trump For Starting The Train Of Events Which Made Iran Shoot Down An Airlinerokay, if we’re going to go back down the “blame” trail, it’s actually Jimmy Carter’s fault in the first place, for letting the murderous ayatollahs take over in Iran.

4) Prince Ginger and Princess Caring-Slut look for supplemental income streamsI think this says it best:

Monday Funnies

Okay, it’s Monday ergo  time to get back to work and solve all those problems you postponed last week:

So to distract you from help you with your calculations, a few chuckles:

And seeing as the schools will all have started this week:

Followed by some wisdom from our elders:

And for those winter coughs and sniffles:

And speaking of being mentally fucked up:

So let’s wrap this up with something to erase that last picture from your brains, i.e. a little bit of Marina Sirtis:

Now get out of that chair and get to work.