5 Worst Jobs

In ascending order of hideousness:

  • Flight attendant on the New York – Ft. Lauderdale flight
  • Male employee at Salon magazine
  • Kathy Griffin’s personal trainer
  • Product tester at a refried-bean canning factory
  • Any job where Michelle Obama is your boss

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Excuses For Leaving Work Early

We’ve all done it, but here are the worst, in ascending order of ridiculousness:

  • I have to leave now, it’s Happy Hour at the Rose & Crown
  • I have to pick my grandmother up at the airport (bonus if the speaker is over the age of 50)
  • I have to get to the liquor store before it closes
  • I broke my fingernail and I have an emergency appointment at the nail salon (female; if male, I don’t want to talk to you)
  • I have to take my Mom to the maternity ward

Bonus points for guessing which one was mine.

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Sex Manuals

Ranked in ascending order of awful:

  • The Antifa Guide To Lovemaking
  • Pulling The Train Without Pain, 3rd edition (Kamala Harris)
  • Rockstar Sex (Nancy Pelosi)
  • Six Great Foreplay Tricks (Hillary Clinton) (illustrated)
  • Helping Uncle José To His Happy Ending (4th Grade Textbook, Los Angeles County School District)

Your suggestions in Comments.