5 Worst Men

…to have in the room with you after you’ve just had stomach surgery, and it hurts like hell to laugh:

  • Billy Connolly (“Och laddie, yer stomach looks like just another Saturday night in Glasgow.”)
  • Craig Ferguson (“If you were a woman after a C-section, you’d have to get up and wipe the baby’s shitty arse because it’s Match Of The Day on TV and your hubby’s AWOL at the pub.”)
  • Richard Pryor (“You think stitches  hurt?  Try settin’ yo’self on fire, honkie.”)
  • Robin Williams (“Stomach surgery is God saying to you, ‘Here, try a little cocaine.’ “)
  • Bill Burr (“Look, I’m not saying what you have isn’t terrible — but ever had your girlfriend’s broken acrylic nail wedged in your hemorrhoids?”)

Your nominations in Comments.

5 Worst Looks To Get From Your Girlfriend Or Wife

Ranked in order of hatefulness:

  • when you fart during a blowjob
  • when she asks, “Are you really  going out dressed like that?” and you answer, “Yes.”
  • when she asks you for something to read, and you hand her the latest issue of Guns & Ammo
  • when she catches you in bed with her sister (bonus points for:  her brother )
  • when she learns that you pawned her engagement ring to buy that sweet new Ruger

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Things To Do For 20 Hours

Yes, it’s back!  For a one-time reappearance only!*

In ascending order of horrible:

  • read Howard Zinn’s A People’s History Of The United States
  • walk along all the streets of downtown San Francisco
  • listen to Hillary Clinton explain (yet again) why she lost the 2016 election
  • be the lone man in an orgy with the female members of the Congressional Black Caucus
  • fly nonstop from NYFC to Australia… on Spirit Airlines or RyanAir.

Your contributions in Comments…


*unless you guys want more…


Alert Readers will notice that the “5 Worst” feature has disappeared from our Friday fare.

That’s because I was getting bored with it and sheesh, it’s been going for over a year.  From now on, it will only reappear when something truly foul suggests itself to me.