5 Worst Things To Do At A Funeral

In ascending order of ghastliness:

  • substitute the soundtrack from Oh! Calcutta!  for the traditional funeral music
  • French-kiss the widow / grab the widower’s cock
  • invent a whole bunch of salacious but fictitious stories about the late when delivering the eulogy (e.g. “Fred always said that sex with a woman was okay, but not as good as the real thing”)
  • take group photos, as at a wedding, only with people standing around the open coffin
  • start a “throw the wreath” ceremony, and have Granny catch it.

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