Ranked in ascending order of awfulness, and all inexplicably popular:
- MacArthur’s Park — Richard Harris (most obscure and meaningless lyrics ever)
- All Out Of Love — Air Supply (actually, any AS ballad could be inserted here)
- Halleluya — Leonard Cohen (maudlin cheesy tearjerker)
- It Don’t Matter To Me — Bread (beta-male whining)
- Diary — Bread (the ultimate cuckold song)
No links; I refuse to be party to mass vomiting.
Your suggestions on the topic in Comments.
Ranked in ascending order of awfulness:
- Cops like it when you playfully wave a gun at them during a traffic stop
- If you don’t like the Republican candidate, vote for the Democrat as a protest
- The Second Amendment will protect you from arrest if you’re carrying a handgun in New Jersey
- Not all women are like that
- Swipe right — hey, you’re in Bangkok; what could possibly go wrong?
Your suggestions in Comments.
In ascending order of awfulness:
- Democrats Take House, Senate And White House In Election Upset
- Sen. Chuck Schumer Named To Head BATF
- “Not Guilty” Verdict In Clinton/Obama Treason Trial
- N. Korean ICBM Strikes Hit San Diego, Miss Seattle, Portland, Berkeley
- Amy Schumer Married To [your name] After Wild Night In Vegas
Your suggestions in Comments. The more tasteless, the better.
Ranked in order of awfulness:
For a man to hear:
- “Did I come? No.”
- “OMG — is that my husband’s car pulling into the driveway?”
- “No, my herpes flare-up is completely over.”
- “Hello? Is that the Campus Rape Counsel Office?”
- “My name is Lena Dunham.”
For a woman to hear:
- “Well, I’m never going to buy that brand of condom again.”
- “I have to go — my wife’s going to wonder why I’m so late.”
- “To be honest, I preferred your kid sister.”
- “I thought you’d enjoy anal sex.”
- “Welcome to the Kennedy Compound.”
Ranked as always in ascending order of awfulness:
- Games To Play With Daddy’s Hunting Knife
- What’s That Noise? Explaining Those Scary Sounds That Come From Mommy and Daddy’s Bedroom
- Daddy Divorced Mommy Because Of You
- Mommy’s New Boyfriend REALLY Loves You
- It Takes A Village: Hillary Rodham Clinton
There is a serious public health warning attached to each link in this post.
I was going to publish a companion piece of the five worst men to have an orgy with, but I suspect that most of my choices (from: O.J., Chris Brown, Howard Stern, Anthony Weiner, the entire male cast of Jersey Shores etc.) would probably find favor with quite a few women… [sigh]