5 Worst Things You Can Say In A Business Email

In ascending order of “you’re gonna get fired”:

  • “Screw what H.R. says.”
  • “When I was in San Quentin…”
  • “My project will come in well over budget and a year late.”  (unless you’re a liberal politician, in which case you’ll be just fine;  you might even get a promotion)
  • “I’m sorry about the affair with your wife, but…”  (bonus points if you’re a woman)
  • “On our next business trip together, bring some edible panties… again.”

Your contributions in Comments.  Bonus points if your contribution ever got you actually fired.

5 Worst Jobs

In ascending order of hideousness:

  • Flight attendant on the New York – Ft. Lauderdale flight
  • Male employee at Salon magazine
  • Kathy Griffin’s personal trainer
  • Product tester at a refried-bean canning factory
  • Any job where Michelle Obama is your boss

Your suggestions in Comments.