5 Worst Excuses For Being Late For School

In order of implausibility:

  • “My little sister hid my backpack.”
  • “The dog wouldn’t move away from lying in front of my dad’s car.”
  • “It was the Russians.”
  • “I had a panic attack because Donald Trump is President.”

…and the absolute worst reason for being late for school:

  • “My gym teacher just wouldn’t let me get out of bed this morning.”

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Lies

All in ascending order of frightfulness, as usual.

Told by men:

  • “You won’t get pregnant; my family’s been sterile for generations.”
  • “I’ll just put the tip in.”
  • “…and forsaking all others…”
  • “I’ll call you  next time I’m in town.”
  • “She means nothing to me!”

Told by women:

  • “Size isn’t important.”
  • “I won’t try to change you after we get married.”
  • “I don’t fake my orgasms.”
  • “Bad boys don’t turn me on.”
  • “I’d love you even if you weren’t rich.”


Your suggestions in Comments. Bonus points if you’ve actually uttered them, or had them told to you.