Great Moments In Bad Timing

Given how the Corona virus thing has completely knocked the pleasure-cruise industry off the shelf, one would think that this is a bad time to launch a new one, yes?

Step forward Sir Richard of Branson:

On the bright side, every dollar this Left tool drops into nonsense like this is one less dollar for the dozens of Lefty causes his company supports.

Even before the emergence of passenger liners as floating pox-palaces, you wouldn’t have got me on one of them at gunpoint.  Now… uh huh.  Hot needles, meet scrotum.

So Much To Do, So Little Done

Okay, Sir Winston may have had more weighty matters on his mind when he said that, but I know how he felt, after reading this:

Britain’s BEST chippies: Top 15 seafood eateries are revealed in National Fish and Chip Awards 2020

As any fule kno, one of my favorite meals in Britishland is the venerable F&C (proof below).

So when I read articles like the above, all it makes me want to do is hop on a plane across The Pond and embark on a tour of the top 15…

However.  The list shortens quite a bit as some of the chippies’ locations are on Kim’s List Of Places Never To Visit (based on the recommendations of Stout Bulldogs like Mr. Free Market, The Englishman and the Sorensons) — places such as Belfast, the whole of Wales and anywhere in County Durham.

Still, this one (in Kent) looks promising:

…especially as Kent is home to one of the best beer brands anywhere:

And if they haven’t got Spitfire, there is an alternative:

Tell me you wouldn’t, if you were me.

Politics As Advertising

No, this isn’t about political ads — may a pox be upon all of them.  This post by Aaron Clarey examines why Corporate America has turned into a collection of fucking scolds, despite all the marketing precepts that define marketing stupidity as injecting politics into your corporate ethos.  Here’s a brief excerpt:

But now corporations sermonizing the rest of the world about leftist politics has gone viral. And it behooves the question why. Why would corporations take such a risk? Why would corporations be so foolish? And you can call me an ole fuddy duddy, by why are corporations so arrogant and rude? How dare you assholes lecture me about anything outside the purchase of your product or service, you smug, cocky, arrogant assholes?

And then he answers all that in the rest of the post.  Read it all;  it’s worth it, despite its horrible conclusion.

Then go and smash your head against the wall, like I did.

Good Olde Dayes 2

Last week I looked at offensive ads from days gone by — and by “offensive”, I mean things that would “offend” the Permanently Sensitive Set, bless their little snowflake hearts.

While doing the research, I also happened on some still-more offensive ads — guaranteed to get others’ feeeewings all tearful (except for those who frequent this website, that is.  Actually, they are enough to make even me a little tearful, but not for the reasons one would expect).  Here’s a sample:

There’s hunting:

Now it’s time for some cismale gendernormative patriarchal fascism (I think I got that right):

And guns for Christmas — nothing like a visit from ol’ Santy bearing the right kind of gift:

(Note the publication for the above ad…)

Now it’s time for a little “flowers” advertising (back the hearse up to the door, and let them smell the flowers):

And then there’s the simple choice:

And one last reminder:

I wonder what the number is for the AR15 and AK-47?  Let’s look at some other options:

And speaking of which, note the prices:

Now that’s enough to make me weep.

Good Olde Dayes 1

Upon reading this lovely story, I was transported back to a time when advertising gave it to you straight and hard.  But first, a quick excerpt:

Following outrage in the past couple of years over ads that were seen as toxic, the U.K. has responded by banning advertising that perpetuates negative stereotypes or equates physical attractiveness with social or romantic success. The elegant simplicity of this solution might leave us wondering, why hasn’t anyone thought to do this before?

Because until recently, society wasn’t in thrall to the Great Wokening, is why.  So please indulge me as I hearken back to a time when everyone understood their roles in life.


Let’s not talk about the kiddies:


Not just ads, either:


…and even comics did the tongue-in-cheek thing:

And let’s hear it for product packaging and promises:

…and for energy and pick-me-ups:

And given that we’re celebrating Love-A-Homo/Trannie/Whatever  Month, here’s my all-time favorite:

But let me not get nasty.  One more good ‘un:

Like the title suggests:  the good old days.  I miss ’em. [eyecross]

Others may differ.  I, however, have a sense of humor about this kind of thing.

Scarcity Scare Tactics

Via Insty comes this silliness:

Companies in certain sectors use the same behavioral interventions repeatedly. Hotel booking websites are one example. Their sustained, repetitive use of scarcity (e.g., “Only two rooms left!”) and social proof (“16 other people viewed this room”) messaging is apparent even to a casual browser.
For Chris the implication was clear: this “scarcity” was just a sales ploy, not to be taken seriously.

Well, duh.  The oldest advertising gimmick is to threaten shortages:  “while supplies last”, “today only”, “limited to the first 50 customers”, and so on.

I’ve used Expedia quite a bit for my international travel planning (they usually handle cancellations better than the establishments themselves do), and the “only 1 room left” warning elicits a response from me of, “Oh well… if the room disappears I’ll just have to find another hotel.”

You see, true  scarcity can and does work to drive a purchase decision — World Cup tickets being a good example because it’s one event, one time, one place — but all the artificial scarcity (as above) should get just a shrug from the prospective consumer.

Even more, if the establishment uses it constantly (e.g. Expedia), it becomes just white noise:  unless, of course, the customer is a stupid dickhead, in which case they get what they deserve.

The very best reaction to this ploy is to simply say, “Well, if I miss it this time, I’ll just find another vendor or postpone the purchase until the next sale.”  Department stores, who seem only to sell merchandise when it’s “On Sale”, have learned to their cost what happens when you turn discounted shopping into an everyday event:  people only buy during “sale” periods — which is why department stores are dying.

As for the various online travel sites:  if you do find an unbeatable deal for the hotel stay of your dreams at, say, Expedia, check the same hotel’s rates at one of the other booking sites as a backup before making your decision.  (By the way, if the deal “disappears”, try calling the hotel direct;  I once got a rate lower than Expedia’s “Great Deal” at an Edinburgh hotel during the Royal Military Tattoo Week simply by asking for it.)

And ignore the bullshit.