Ginger Nuts

…that would be me.  Crazy ’bout them redheads.

Apparently, today is Kiss A Ginger Day (don’t ask how or why, I just report what I read SOTI).  Ordinarily I’m opposed to made-up holidays (e.g. MLK Day or Secretary’s Day), but I think I could bend the rules for this one.

Sadly, though, I’ll not be able to get into the spirit of the thing, for all sorts of reasons (including being married, and to a non-redhead withal, and not actually knowing any real redheads at the moment).  And my innate sense of self-respect (not to mention fear of los federales ) prevents me from just planting a smooch on the cheek of a random redhead I may encounter in the street.

However, I can play a game, that being:

Of the redheads pictured below, which ONE (as pictured) would you like to kiss above all the others?

And to make it interesting, there’s no chaste peck-on-the-cheek bullshit;  it would be a long, tongue-‘n-teeth affair which could get you arrested in twenty states.  Here they are:

Amy Adams

Ann-Margret

Angela Scanlon

Deborah Kerr

Gina Lollobrigida

Greer Garson

Cassandra Peterson

(a.k.a. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark)

Gillian Anderson

Isla Fisher

Jessica Chastain

Sarah Rafferty

Alicia Witt

Kathy Douglas

Maureen O’Hara

Lindsay Lohan

Jill St. John

Karen Gillan

Emma Stone

Maisie Smith

Patsy Palmer

Shirley-Ann Field

Kate Walsh

Poppy Montgomery

Rhonda Fleming

Perhaps the ultimate Ginger:

Tina Louise

And finally:

Just any old ginger will do, thanks

If I’ve omitted your favorite ginger, feel free to tell me all about it in Comments.

Just remember that Christina Hendricks isn’t a real redhead… if that’s important.

Lady Readers may go below decks, so to speak:

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3 Worst Women

Here are the three worst kinds of women to be romantically involved with, in no specific order:

  • College professors.  They are used to being treated like gods in the classroom, and they expect you to do the same.  Or they’re fucking headcases who teach one of the “___ Studies” courses.
  • HR career women.  Fortunately, these things are generally unspeakably ugly and your chances of getting involved with one of them are slim, unless you’re a masochist in which case you deserve everything you get.
  • Comedians (we used to call them “comediennes”, but now that’s apparently taboo).  If you want every detail — emotional, sexual, whatever — of your private life to become just another part of her act, date one of these grunts*.

*except for Irish comedienne Aisling Bea, who is totally hot and could say anything about me she wanted, as long as I could do unspeakable things to her young Irish body when she’s not on stage.

Phwoarrrrr…