Author: Kim du Toit

On The Water

Travels

When one has traveled a lot and seen “the sights” — those things which are perennial tourist attractions (the Louvre/Eiffel Tower, St. Paul’s Cathedral, the Trevi Fountains, and so on), there is often a desire to create a theme for one’s next trip, based on either a specific interest, or just on whimsy.

One couple I know, who are keen not to say fanatical gardeners, did such a tour of Europe and visited only the palatial gardens of France, Italy, Germany and Britain.  They managed to fit it all into a month, although as the wife admitted, they could have taken six and been much the richer for the experience (although much the poorer financially because Europe).  One woman of my acquaintance did something similar, but going over in the late spring so that she could visit all the major flower shows in Europe — and if New Wife reads this, I’ll have to hide the credit cards.

And of course, for the true art lovers, nothing could be better than touring the Prada in Madrid, the Louvre in Paris, the Art History (Kunsthistorisches ) Museum in Vienna and of course the Rembrandt- and Van Gogh museums in Amsterdam, to name but some.

Mention of Amsterdam, however, got me thinking about a tour based on a different theme altogether.

 

Yes, canals.

Now of course, when one says the word, the city which springs immediately to mind is Venice, but let’s just set that aside for the moment while we consider some alternatives, just for kicks.

Amsterdam, of course, would be a great starting-point for such a tour, in no small part because the canny Dutch are keenly aware of the appeals thereof, and the canal tours are many and excellent.  Also, if you get tired of doing that (can’t imagine why), you can always hop off and visit some of the city’s other attractions (see above), or to grab a tasty pannekoek or package of fries (hold the mayo, Frans).  Yum.  But let’s move on, just a little down the coast by train, to:

Bruges.

The “Venice of the North” is justly famous, and I don’t know a single person who has been there and come away disappointed.  However, my knock against both Amsterdam and Bruges is that if you don’t want to sit in a boat sailing along a canal, or you’ve got bored with doing so, the canal banks are often short of places to sit and enjoy a pint of beer or gin while watching the world sailing by.  Such is not true of France’s

Annecy:

And just in case that isn’t enough, I should point out that Annecy is located in the Savoie district, which means you also get views like this, when you’re sick of looking at canals:

Yes, those are mountains in the background… not to be found in Amsterdam, Venice or Bruges.  From some list or other:

 

Annecy is called the “Pearl of the French Alps.” Because of its location, squeezed between Lake Annecy and the Semnoz mountains, Annecy can’t grow much — so it has preserved its old town as it was centuries ago, threaded with more canals than roads. It’s not packed with tourist attractions or booming nightlife. Its charm comes instead from peaceful waterways lined with pastel-colored houses, nonstop gelaterias, tiny cafes, and restaurants.

Feet starting to itch, yet?

There are many large cities, of course, which feature canals as either recreation or as a means of getting from one place to another:  Stockholm, Copenhagen and, of course, Venice.  All of these are popular — millions and millions of tourists over the decade couldn’t all have got it wrong — but I have to tell you, the smaller places appeal to me too, as much if not more.

And in case you’re wondering why I’m sailing down this little tributary [sic]  and have gathered so much info:  I want to do such a tour with New Wife, just as soon as the pieces fall into place.

News Roundup

Bad News

Brought to you by*:

*not actually.

So let’s use some of that obscure ammo to shoot the first asshole on the list:


…treason trial to begin in 5…4…3… what, no trial?  No firing squad?  Are we surprised?


…from Justin Fidelson, we expected anything else?


…sorry kids, but unless Tony Blair is arrested for calling someone a “twat” on Twitter, we Over Here have more to worry about.


…to which Boris replied: “Hey, remember when I was fired from being Prime Minister?”  He also said: “Slovenia is excellent and I shagged myself silly!”


…yay, so there’s at least ONE Brit with the right idea.


…yeah, more “Sandal” people killing “Gourd” people, or maybe it’s the other way round.  Whatever.

And still on the topic of speaking in tongues:


…ah yes, the Anglicans;  irrelevant (and wrong) as always.


…key word:  lawyer.  And her name:  Karen Snitch.


…key word:  “Jamaicans”.


…not to be taken literally, because this is Britishland, not Murka.


…more to the point, we don’t need any of you assholes.  As you may soon find out.


…considering the competition, not much of a victory.


…man, when those Brits set out to eliminate “embarrassments” to the Royal Family, they sure can be sneaky.  Tunnels in Paris, and now a mountain lion…


…argh, FFS.  Can’t you chicks do anything without over-complicating the thing?

And in link-free INSIGNIFICA:

   


…who she, you say?

Public Service Post:

 

Oh, and about all that fuss:

So now you know;  that, and the news.

Too Much Good Press

Hunting

Via Insty, I saw this little snippet:

WHO asks people not to attack monkeys over monkeypox

…which makes sense, of course.  Killing monkeys because the thing’s named “monkeypox” makes as much sense as burning the town of Lyme to the ground because of tick bites.

However, that doesn’t mean that killing monkeys is a Bad Thing.

You see, monkeys have always got good Press because they look human, with their sweet little faces and tiny fingers and toes;  and they look so cute as they swing through the trees, chattering and gibbering away.

In fact, monkeys are as evil — or more so — than humans.  They attack human babies, they attack pets, and they’ll attack adult humans, all without reason.  They’ll kill each other — even their troop’s own babies, which is why the babies are always clinging to their mothers, by the way — and woe betide any monkey from one troop who wanders into the “territory” of another.

Ask any farmer about monkeys, and you’ll be rewarded by seeing his trigger finger twitch.  Farmers shoot them on sight, because monkeys will absolutely devastate crops — a 50-strong troop will empty an orchard of its fruit in the space of a couple of hours, and take half a field of corn in a day.

So whenever I see some animal lover wringing his hands because some wee likkul monkey was shot by some eeeevil hunter, I just laugh.  Put said animal lover in the middle of a large troop (of whatever breed), and the odds of survival are about 50-50.

They are truly evil little bastards, only marginally less so than socialists, and like socialists, they should be shot whenever and wherever possible.  And if not for monkeypox, there’s always herpes.