News Roundup

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And speaking of asses:


...oh STFU.   Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up Anyone who still buys into this shit deserves nothing but scorn and abuse.


...try something like this, dickhead:


only 2?  We must try harder.  Two miles per hour sounds about right.  And then, the land mines.


...I think that was a rotten reward just for showing her my devotion.


...and:

...and when you radical Muslims wonder why everyone else in the world hates you, feel free to add reasons like the above, you assholes.


...Texas homeschooling parents:  “And?”


...”Oh yes, baby, give it to me hard!” was not the kind of baby talk he was expecting.  Also, speaking of electronic snooping devices:


...wouldn’t have thought you’d need an expert to tell you that, but then again, kids nowadays are eating Tide pods and investing in FTX, so...


...only the wrong people would have a problem with this.


...now if only they’d had a gun handy… oh wait, I missed the “Australia” part.  Never mind.


...just another one of my Longtime Readers (sigh).


...yeah:  “Russian” and “deadly virus” in the same sentence?  This will not end well.


...because you did, you stupid twat.


...more like this, please.

Today’s INSIGNIFICA:

   

  …but let’s move on.


...annnnd here’s the sinful garment:

Every normal red-blooded man would.

Give ‘Em An Inch

…and they’ll take 1.6 kilometers.  Or not.

Longtime Readers will all know the hatred I have for the putrid metric system, whereby commonsense units of measure (inches, yards or feet) got turned into incomprehensible gibberish by (of course) the French, who shouldn’t be entrusted with anything other than perhaps wine- or cheesemaking, let alone a new universal system of measurement.

Here’s a lovely old article which goes into more depth on the topic.

And a miss is not as good as a thousand meters.

Coup De Grâce

I said yesterday that the three-day orgy of food (a.k.a. family Christmas feasts) was over, that I’d eaten enough for twelve Ethiopians and drunk enough for four Irish navvies, etc. etc. etc.

I lied.

Or rather, I forgot that we’d promised to take Brother-In-Law for some Mexican food for lunch yesterday.

And that we’d planned on dinner with Doc Russia and his exquisite wife later last night.

So of course we did both:  quesadillas, fajitas, chimichangas and so on, accompanied by the usual margaritas (at Gloria’s);  and beef short ribs, pineapple sponge cake with ice cream, and whiskey plus red wine (at Doc’s).

I now look and feel like Monty Python’s Mr. Creosote, understand how an actual python feels when it’s swallowed, say, a large pig, and I have lost the will to live.

Here’s a picture of a gun to keep you all happy:

And please excuse me while I go off and groan for a few hours.