Great Moments In Bad Timing

Given how the Corona virus thing has completely knocked the pleasure-cruise industry off the shelf, one would think that this is a bad time to launch a new one, yes?

Step forward Sir Richard of Branson:

On the bright side, every dollar this Left tool drops into nonsense like this is one less dollar for the dozens of Lefty causes his company supports.

Even before the emergence of passenger liners as floating pox-palaces, you wouldn’t have got me on one of them at gunpoint.  Now… uh huh.  Hot needles, meet scrotum.

10 comments

  1. I count six lifeboats on this side, I am guessing six on the other side. How many people are on the ship at one time, and does each lifeboat take a hundred passengers, two hundred? Aren’t 2-3 thousand on a cruise?

    These are for show, right? Like your seat cushion will save you if the plane makes a “water landing”.

  2. The Scarlet Lady – Launch date — NYC Debut — currently postponed until Fall — 2,800 passengers and 1200 Crew. so 4,000 on board. Those ” lifeboats” on the sides are shuttle boats to be used when that monster can’t be tied up to the pier in whatever Caribbean Port they are visiting ( most of them ). If some titanic event happens there are lots of inflatable rafts that get tossed over the side and auto inflate on contact. How they load people aboard the inflatables is a different question.

    It’s more likely to capsize than sink, but since there has not been a disaster since the Costa Concordia ( a smaller ship ) it’s unknown what might happen to one of these Mega-Liners if it got caught in a Hurricane.

  3. I used to hate the idea of a cruise ship but went anyway last November to please the wife, who wanted to take her elderly mother on what may have been her last travel.

    I loved it.

    Comfortable, quiet cabins, good food close to 24 hours a day. I often wake up very, very early, sometimes 3AM and when I did there was good coffee, pastries and goodies like sausages, bacon, ham waiting at an omelette bar. That breakfast room had power for my laptop, decent WiFi.

    The crowds were amusing and everybody was good natured because sun, booze, food, pretty girls in bikinis all over the place. OK, some crazy old ladies in bikinis and old men in speedos too, horrifying all viewers with their awesome display of sun cooked wrinkles and/or blubber, but that was amusing too.

    Met lot of nice people from all over the world. I managed to walk 10 or 15 miles a day at 3 laps around the boat on the promenade deck to a mile, said promenade also full of pretty girls plus other old farts to chat with as we walked. Good weight room, 2 pools.

    Great entertainment from showy things in a big theatre to night clubbing to ballroom dancing, which my wife adores. We met a black couple from Georgia on their thirty somehingth cruise who were great dancers but with that southern accent we were nearly speaking different languages.

    They were fanatic about cleanliness. One did not get into a dining room, bar or restaurant on that ship without a smiling crew member forcing one to extend one’s hands for a disinfectant spray, all with loud shouts of “Washee, washee, happy, happy”.

    So yeah, we’re going again, this fall 11 days Venice to Rome via Dalmatia, Mentenegro, Greece, Greek Islands, Turkey and Sicily.

  4. Jeez, is that thing bloated and top heavy or what? Looks like a mobile condo not a boat. What Fred Z describes sounds nice but most likely I could never afford it.

  5. The classic ocean liners like the Queen Mary and the SS United States were beautiful ships, sleek and elegant. This thing is UGLY. I guess I get the desire to have more staterooms with a view but really! Someone took a dump on a cargo vessel to design this monstrosity.

    Besides I understand that none of the cruise lines offer trap or skeet shooting off the deck any longer. How uncivilized.

  6. I understand the attraction, really, I do, but I just cannot bring myself to succumb to it. I haven’t seen anything I can do on a cruise ship that can’t be done on terra firma, and several things that aren’t possible afloat.

    Such as playing 18 holes (I haven’t changed my opinion that a golf course is a waste of 18 perfectly good rifle ranges, but I have some less-enlightened friends who don’t share my opinion quite as enthusiastically….), and getting in the car and driving to a different hotel or resort. Or, just going home 3 days early (what does a cruise ship do if supplies of Macallan 18 get dangerously low? Call for an air drop?)

    So, if you enjoy it, and can afford it, I wish you all the best. And, I sincerely hope that some terrorist hasn’t downloaded the plans for the Type 93 (aka Imperial Japan’s “Long Lance” torpedo of WWII fame).

  7. That barge was inspired by an empty half-gallon plastic milk jug floating in the bathtub. Unforgiveable.

    I here apologize to barges. Barges are useful.

  8. I did all the cruises I need first with the Marine corps and then in doing O&G exploration. I enjoyed being at sea but prefer being paid to be there.

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