Ho, yuss. From my area in North Texas comes this pleasing news:
One person is dead and another was taken to the hospital after an attempted robbery Tuesday night in northeast Dallas. The two had tried to rob a pizza delivery driver around 10:30 p.m. in the 8100 block of Southwestern Boulevard, Dallas police said.
The driver was armed and shot both suspects, police said. The driver was not wounded in the incident.
One suspect was 15 years old and the other was 17 years old, according to police records. One of them allegedly tried to run away during the incident but was later found. Officials had not identified the person that was killed as of Wednesday morning. The surviving suspect was arrested on a charge of aggravated robbery.
“After examining the totality of the evidence and interviews, the driver was released,” Dallas police said.
[pause to let the cheers and applause die down]
No doubt, the dead scumbag’s mother will have appeared on local TV proclaiming her grief and describing her progeny as a choirboy who had his whole life ahead of him and how Krool & Hartless it is that he’s now dead.
Just once, I want to see a parent show up on TV and say, “I told him all the time that if he did this shit, he’d end up dead one day. And here we are. As much as I mourn my loss, he had it coming, and I’m just glad he didn’t kill an innocent person.”
And pigs will fly past my window.