“Dear Dr. Kim”

“Dear Dr. Kim,
“For some reason, or maybe because I’m an old lady in my late sixties, fashion designers and haute couture houses no longer want to ‘dress’ me for media events like movie premieres and other red-carpet affairs.  I think I still look quite nice (see attached pics). What should I do?”

— James Bond’s Former Bedmate

Dear Bedmate,

I wouldn’t worry about it.  Frankly, you look better at 70 than 99% of today’s younger tattooed prostitutes who try to pass themselves off as “models” or “actresses”;  and among the older ones like Hanoi Jane Fonda and Titsy Mirren, you look better still.
My suggestion is that you go somewhere like Top Shop or some little boutique in Chelsea, and pick your own red-carpet outfit from among their wares.  (Don’t worry if the things don’t look so good;  after all, Helena Bonham Carter has been dressing like a bag lady for years, and the glitterati all think she’s “charming” and “eccentric”, when you and I both know she’s simply as crazy as a sackful of wet cats and probably has a naked body which, very unlike yours, looks like a plastic bag of warm rice pudding.)
Then you can just laugh when hundreds of women storm the place where you bought your outfit, all hoping that if they buy and wear the same thing they’ll look as good as you did at the red-carpet shindig.  (They won’t, don’t worry.)  Then, when Vivienne Westwood or Paul McCartney’s daughter come crawling back to you to wear their latest foul offerings, tell them you prefer the Top Shop / little boutique’s lines over their overpriced dreck, and they can all fuck off.
Frankly, me sexy old darling, long after everyone has forgotten who all these pretentious little fag designers and stupid lesbo poseurs ever were, you and your movie roles will still be causing pup tents to spring up in men’s beds all over the Western world — and isn’t that a better thing, really?

— Dr. Kim

Attached pics:

(at age 60)
(at age 67)
(taken last year, 2018)
(and me in my youth… sigh)

Top 100 Guns, Revisited

Not long ago, I happened to see SOTI (Somewhere On The Internet) a link to one of my earlier Other Side Of Kim posts, and when I followed the link out of idle curiosity, of course I hit the “Site No Longer Around” page.

But as I recall, it had quite a few comments attached, so in the interests of causing mayhem, I’ve decided to republish the thing, more or less unchanged except that I’ve added pics.  (Newcomers are in red, deletions/substitutions at the bottom of this post.)  What amazes me is — surprise, surprise — how little I’ve changed my mind over the dozen-odd years that have passed.

No Real Cap

October 12, 2007
2:36 AM CDT

Okay, I’ve just about had it with those crappy articles which ask stupid questions like: “If you could own only one gun, which would it be?” or “Name the gun you’d like to shoot exclusively for the rest of your life?” and so on. (And yes, I’ve probably written more of this type of nonsense than any two gun writers combined.)

All the above involve choices which require painful reflection and soul-searching.

But what about if you had no restrictions on quantity (speaking reasonably, that is—some guy might want thirty AK-47s, but that’s just silly, unless he’s the Commandant of his local Red Dawn unit [eyecross]).

So, if we can agree that “one hundred” is a nice round number, herewith are my choices for Kim’s Top 100 Gun Choices (and if you think that a hundred is “too constricting”, you may need help). For ease of reference, I’ve broken them down into sub-groups—BUT: if you think that shotguns are woefully under-represented when you draw up your own list, that’s fine. As to the composition of the list, I am of course hopelessly and unrepentantly old-fashioned, so if you are mortally offended that I didn’t put your favorite H&K Model Whatever on the list, that’s just too damn bad.

The guns are listed alphabetically, not in order of preference.

  • Centerfire / Single-Shot Revolvers:
  1. Bond Arms Derringer (.45 Colt/.410ga)
  2. Colt Diamondback (.38 Spec)
  3. Colt Python (.357 Mag)
  4. Colt SAA (.45 Colt)
  5. Ruger SP101 (.357 Mag)
  6. Ruger Redhawk (.357 Mag)
  7. Ruger Super Blackhawk (.30 Carbine)
  8. Ruger Super Blackhawk (.44 Mag)
  9. Ruger Vaquero (.45 Colt)
  10. S&W Mod 637 (.38 Spec +P)
  11. S&W Mod 65 (.357 Mag)
  12. S&W Mod 686 (.357 Mag)
  13. Uberti 1875 Frontier (.45 Colt)
  • Centerfire Semi-Auto Pistols:
  1. Browning High Power (9mm Para)
  2. Colt Gold Cup 1911 (.45 ACP)
  3. Colt 1903 (.32 ACP)
  4. Mauser C96 “Broomhandle” (7.63mm Mauser)
  5. SIG P210 Target (9mm Para)
  6. Springfield 1911 (.45 ACP)
  7. Walther PP (9mm Kurz)
    Rimfire Handguns (all .22 LR unless otherwise)
  1. Beretta Mod 75 Jaguar semi-auto
  2. Browning Buckmark Plus SS semi-auto
  3. Browning Challenger semi-auto
  4. Colt Diamondback DA revolver
  5. Colt Officers Match DA revolver
  6. Colt Trooper Mk III DA revolver
  7. NAA Mini-Revolver SA .22 LR/.22 Mag
  8. Ruger Single-Ten SA revolver .22 LR

  9. Ruger Single-Nine SA revolver .22 Mag

  10. S&W Mod 17 K-22 DA “Kit Gun” revolver
  11. S&W Mod 48 DA revolver .22 Mag
  12. S&W Mod 617 DA 10-shot revolver
  • Rimfire Rifles (all .22 LR unless otherwise)
  1. BSA-Martini single-shot
  2. CZ 453 Varmint bolt-action
  3. CZ ZKM 611A semi-auto .22 Mag
  4. Marlin 39A lever-action
  5. Marlin 882SV bolt-action .22 Mag
  6. Marlin 880SQ bolt-action
  7. Remington 552 Speedmaster semi-auto
  8. Taurus Mod 62 pump
  9. Thompson R55 Sporter semi-auto
  10. Winchester Mod 63 semi-auto
  • Centerfire Bolt-Action Rifles:
  1. Arisaka Type 99 (7.7x53mm Jap)
  2. CZ 527 Carbine (7.62x39mm)

  3. CZ 550 FS (6.5x55mm Swede)
  4. CZ 550 / Brno 602 (.375 H&H)
  5. Lee-Enfield No.4 MkI (.303 Enfield)
  6. Mauser Gew 98 (8x57mm)
  7. Mauser K98 (8x57mm)
  8. Mauser M12 (6.5x55mm)
  9. Mauser M48 (.308 Win—“Israeli”)
  10. Mauser M96 (6.5x55mm—“Swede”)
  11. Mosin-Nagant Mod 91/30 (7.62x54mmR)
  12. Mosin-Nagant Mod 44 (7.62x54mmR)
  13. Savage Mod 12 Varmint (.223 Rem)
  14. Schmidt-Rubin K11 Carbine (7.5x55mm—“Swiss”)
  15. Schmidt-Rubin K31 (7.5x55mm—“Swiss”)
  16. SMLE MkIII No.1 (.303 Enfield)
  17. Springfield ‘03-A3 (.30-06)
  18. Steyr M95 (8x56mmR)
  19. Winchester M1917 (.30-06)
  20. Winchester Mod 54 (.257 Roberts)
  21. Winchester pre-‘64 Mod 70 (.270 Win)
  22. Winchester Pattern 1914 (.303 Enfield)
  • Centerfire Lever-Action Rifles
  1. Marlin 1894 (.357 Mag)
  2. Marlin 1895 (.45-70 Govt)
  3. Marlin 336 (.30-30)
  4. Savage 99 (.250-3000 Savage)
  5. Winchester 1895 (.405 Win)
  6. Winchester Mod 94 (.32 Win Spec)
  • Centerfire Single-Shot Rifles
  1. Browning 1885 High Wall (.45-70 Govt)
  2. Merkel 140 double (.375 H&H)
  3. Dakota Arms Mod 76 (.375 H&H Mag)
  4. Krieghoff Drilling (20ga/20ga/7x57mm)
  5. Ruger #1 Tropical (.416 Rigby)
  • Centerfire Semi-Auto Rifles
  1. Browning BAR (.270 Win)
  2. FN-FAL (7.62x51mm)
  3. M1 Carbine (.30 Carbine)
  4. M1 Garand (.30-06)
  5. SAR-1/AK-47 (7.62x39mm)
  6. SAFN 49 (8x57mm)
  7. SAFN 49 (7x57mm—“Venezuelan”)
  8. SKS (7.62x39mm)
  9. Walther G43 (8x57mm)
  • Shotguns
  1. Aguirre y Aranzabal No.4 SxS (20ga) and
  2. Aguirre y Aranzabal No.4 SxS (20ga) — matched pair of boxlocks
  3. Browning A5 semi-auto (16ga—“Sweet Sixteen”)
  4. Browning A5 semi-auto (20ga—“Light Twenty”)
  5. Browning Gold Hunter semi-auto (20ga)
  6. Mossberg 500 pump (12ga—“Mariner”)
  7. Remington 1100 semi-auto (20ga)
  8. Remington 870 Express Slug (12ga)
  9. Winchester 1897 pump (12ga)
  • Class III
  1. Browning Automatic Rifle “BAR” (.30-06)
  2. Bren LMG (.303 Enfield)
  3. Haenel STG-44
  4. M3 SMG (.45 ACP—“Grease Gun”)
  5. MP38 SMG (9mm Para—“Schmeisser”)
  6. Sten SMG (9mm Para)
  7. Thompson 1927-A1 (.45 ACP—“Tommy”)

You might think that it took me a long time to compile this list of favorites, but you’d be wrong. It took me less than a couple of hours.

Most of the guns will be familiar to everyone (with the possible exception of the AyA shotguns), and if not, they’re in the GGP section. There are a couple of notable omissions, which probably need a little explanation.

  • All the Beretta, Remington, Winchester, Benelli and Browning “big name” O/U sporting shotguns:  I prefer the side-by-side action to over/under, and it seems like none of the aforementioned make their guns in 16ga anymore;
  • All the Winchester, Benelli and Browning “big name” semi-auto sporting shotguns: I’m not that big on semi-auto shotguns, with the exception of the Browning A5 line;
  • Various calibers: These are pretty much my favorite chamberings—and with these, I can shoot anything in the world that I want, given the opportunity.

So there you have it: Kim’s favorite 100 guns. Something to please, and to offend, everyone. Kinda like all my posts.

Deleted (and substitutions):

  1. High Standard Supermatic semi-auto .22 LR
  2. Ruger Single Six (replaced by the Single-Nine and -Ten)
  3. Ruger SP101 DA revolver .22 LR
  4. Beretta Mod 70 (9mm Kurz) (replaced by the Colt 1903)
  5. Uberti 1890 Police (replaced by the 1875 Frontier)
  6. Marlin Camp 45 (.45 ACP)
  7. T/C Encore (.223 Rem)
    • (.243 Win)
    • (.308 Win)
  8. Kassnar Windsor SxS (16ga—“Churchill”) (I have one, and it’s crap)
  9. Remington 700 (.308 Win) (replaced by the Mauser M12)

Any questions about the above selections / deletions / substitutions will be answered in Comments.


Apparently, winter has come early in parts of Britishland:

Parts of Britain woke up to snow today as forecasters issued several ice alerts after warnings that up to half a months worth of rain will fall on already flood-hit areas.
East Gloucestershire, parts of Wiltshire and South Wales were pictured blanketed in snow this morning in the first dusting of the winter.
The Met Office issued several alerts for snow and ice across the South East and South West of England, South Wales and the West Midlands that were in force until 10am.

And the usual pics of the snow “blanket”:

Meanwhile, in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula:

All that said, however, the flooding in northern Britishland has been heavy:

…and those are fields, not a river bursting its banks.

I blame Labour.  Or Trump. [/Schiff]

Cultural Diversity

Let’s set the scene, here.  You and a bunch of your buddies go out to a nightclub in a foreign country — let’s call it Western Europe — and start doing what you always wanted to do with a bunch of women Back Home but couldn’t because the women’s brothers and cousins have no sense of humor and are likely to cut your nuts off.  Now these “foreign” women are not only dressed like whores but also seem to have no brothers and cousins whatsoever.  But for some reason, they get upset with being pawed, fingered and squeezed without giving permission (go figure, right?).  So they call the club bouncers and you get tossed out on the street because you’re acting like oafish animals.

Do you think, “Hmmm… maybe this isn’t the way to do things here.  Perhaps we ought to change our behavior somewhat.”  Of course you don’t — because, as it happens, you’re a bunch of oafish animals.  (And let’s take a wild guess at this point, and assume that Back Home is nowhere close to Western Europe.)

So what you do is return to the same nightclub and demand to be let back in and when refused entry, you try scaling the fences and getting in that way — you know, like you used to do Back Home.  The bouncers, for some reason, aren’t having any of this and toss you back out onto the street.

Whereupon you and your oafish buddies pull out a couple machetes (that you just happened to have about your person) and attack the bouncers.

No doubt, when these pricks are eventually captured it’ll be all about the pore starvin migrants and asylum seekers, and some asswipe German judge will rule that the bouncers were actually to blame.

And when the German people get upset about this, they’ll be labeled “rightwingers”…