Timeline To Extinction

I have no idea how plausible this scenario could have been, because it happened jillions of years ago.  But it sure makes interesting reading.

Here’s a question for y’all (answers in Comments):

Assuming this were to happen in the near future, and was unavoidable — i.e. we really are all gonna diiiieeeee! — where would you want this giant meteor to strike, just for spite?

a) Washington D.C.
b) New York Fucking City
c) EU headquarters in Brussels
d) Beijing
e) Los Angeles
f) Wherever Greta Thunberg happens to be at the moment of impact.

After  voting for your #1 choice, feel free to add your candidate locales in Comments.

18 comments

  1. As it entered our atmosphere, it shattered into several chunks. Mysteriously, those chunks impacted:
    New York city,
    Balti-less,
    Chicago and Detroit,
    a thirty-mile CircleOfOblivion™ around District Of Criminals,
    a hundred-mile CircleOfOblivion© around Peking,
    Telaviv,
    Mecca,
    Frisco and Hollywood,
    and oddly, a west-to-east ten-mile swath just south of the fUSA border with Mexicans… forming a type of ‘De-Militarized Zone’, denying the enemy any food, water, shelter.

    You know, this’s so weird… in hind-sight, it’s almost as if I directed them, delicately steering each parcel to its appropriate destination.

  2. We should try to get some societal good out of it, so, DC first, of course.

    Then, I think LA – we’d get rid of a lot of blue votes AND Hollywood.

  3. This is a toughie; so many great choices. I have a different twist. I think I’d like to see it miss all of them, so that they could all enjoy the long, slow, cold, dark, hungry, extinction that would follow. It would be interesting to see how long they might survive with their solar panels and wind catchers.

  4. I had great ideas to add, but in only four comments, there’s not much to add. gwalchmai nailed it.
    But, if I could only pick from the six, the “wherever Greta Thunberg” is seems pretty attractive to me. Maybe Algore’s house too.

  5. You want climate change? One giant meteor to strike, that’s how you get climate change and . . . . . we’re all gonna die anyway . . . . . having said that why not Texas where good people live and let us go before we know we’re going. Let the West Coast and East Coast suffer for a bit before they join us.

  6. Assuming we are all going to die, then none of the above. Just drop on me. Let all those other fuckers suffer for a while. Now if we are not all going to die, then Brussels, far enough away that I might have a chance.

  7. Beijing

    1. I’d like to make sure my family is outside the secondary effects radius

    2. Killing our commies in DC and/or NYFC might open the door for the ChiComs to “assist” us in our “time of need” unless they’re eliminated first.

    Maybe we can get Greta to visit the Butchering Barbarian Bastards of Beijing just in time for the impact?

  8. Chicago! I know you kind of like the place, but I’ve been driving truck for the past fifteen years and have developed a firm dislike for that whole area. I hate Chicago even more than New York or Washington.

  9. Instant annihilation is too good for the “Ruling Class”. I want them to see the end coming at them and being completely powerless to do anything about it.

    SO…. my vote is for somewhere in the southern hemisphere above Latitude 45 .

    …and the scenario is still very possible. a good size asteroid just missed us a few weeks ago ( inside the orbit of the moon ) not a Global extinction event size — but big enough to take out a city leaving nothing but a big crater.

    ….. and then there’s the other option … the Yellowstone super Volcano……

    Watching the climate change crowd panic over actual real climate change should be highly entertaining in those last few hours / days / weeks before the northern Hemisphere goes ( depending on the size of the event )

  10. I’m with a few other commenters.
    Let it hit right on top of me so I go quickly.
    Let all the Coastal Commiecrats suffer long term “nuclear winter”

  11. Ankara
    Beijing
    Tehran
    Mecca
    Berlin
    Moscow

    In no particular order, any one will do for starters since meteors tend to come in clusters.

  12. Leave the half-wit out of this.
    Greta is merely a puppet, used then discarded.
    Same with TheClintonCrimeSyndicate and Trump.
    Puppets, all.

    Peking, folks. Telaviv.
    It’s easy to point at the Rothschild syndicate, but trying to destroy them is equivalent to trying to destroy AT&T or IBM or Monsanto or Lockheed Martin.
    They are global, little pockets of them everyplace.

    Simultaneously melting New York city and Mecca is a masturbation exercise; nothing changes, the commonists keep doing their tyrants thing.

    Hanging every commonist merely reduces the vocal locals. The next batch is watching, learning to tyrant with slightly less attrition. They are in this for the long-haul.

    In a few weeks, I turn 68.
    A few more decades, and I might consider joining the commonists just to fiddle with their innerds from the other side. That ought to be fun!

  13. I wouldn’t want the target to be WDC, only because of the reputed beautiful buildings, monuments, and museums. Couldn’t it be a neutron meteor? I guess my #1 choice would have to be Geneva, with Beijing (or wherever Xi the Pooh happens to be at the moment) as a backup.

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