No Longer Wanted

Pop Quiz: Name This Granny (answer at the end of this post).  Bonus point for guessing her current age, and no cheating with Internets.

 

Never one to shy away from the tough topics, La Paltrow has weighed in on what happens when a woman ages and loses her desirability (or, as she so charmingly puts it, “fuckability”).

‘To get wrinkles and, like, get closer to menopause, and all these things… what happens to your identity as a woman if you’re not f**kable and beautiful?’
Gwyneth firmly believes self-acceptance is key and that as you get older, your inner beauty radiates outwards.
‘Luckily, what’s happening at the same time in parallel… is you just start to like yourself’, she continued.
‘I think you get to a point where it’s almost like your sort of pulchritude is waning in a way and your inner beauty is, like, really coming out, and so it’s this funny shift that’s happening.’

This is what happens when you work in an industry that a.) has no problem with (literally) fucking children and b.) enforces impossible standards of beauty upon its workers:  of course  you begin to think that only the young can be desirable and that women lose their desirability when they age.

As with so much of what Paltrow spouts, it’s mostly bullshit.  I can think of several older women who have aged and become wrinkled, and who could get practically any heterosexual man to bed them.  And I’m not just talking about actresses, either.

Where Paltrow, as always, misses the point is that she confuses “desirability” with universal  desirability.  I’m not au fait  with the current crop of young women who are deemed “hot” by the poplar culture, but let’s just take Scarlett Johansson as someone I know was once (and may still be) considered the ultimate in female desirability.

 

She’s heading for her 35th birthday as we speak, and I think it’s safe to say that in twenty-five years’ time, she will still be quite desirable, just not universally so.

Here’s one-time paragon of beauty Sharon Stone, at age 60:

 

…and still-gorgeous Jane Seymour (at age 65):

 

But let’s ignore for the moment the fact that among actresses, skillful surgery can play a part in prolonging youth (or at least hiding the effects of age) — I have no idea whether any of the above has resorted to same, but we can play the odds — and acknowledge that while stupid men and callow youths (some overlap) are forever in thrall to the “perfect body” (as defined by, say, Playboy  magazine), many men (myself included) find that women get more interesting  as they get older.

And in my case, anyway, that’s not just a function of my getting older;  at age 30, for example, I thought that Sophia Loren (then aged 50) was the sexiest woman alive:

 

…and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t alone in that thought, either.  Now she’s nearer 85, and I’ll bet that for her age she’s still as sexy as hell, unless of course all the wheels have fallen off, so to speak.

 

And even then, some  randy old goat would… let me not go there.

I said it earlier, but it bears paraphrasing:  for a woman to be desirable to all men regardless of her age is never going to happen.  What we do know is that very few older women (with some notable exceptions) are going to be undesirable to all  men.

If Paltrow and her aging ilk are going to go all “Boo-hoo-hoo nobody wants to fuck me”, I would suggest they relocate from Hollywood (and from Southern Cal in general) and try living in a retirement community.  They’ll get more pricks than a pincushion, from all accounts.

Frankly, if Paltrow really is having a problem (and it’s not just some new PR ploy to sell more vaginal marble eggs), it’s probably because as she’s got older, she’s become increasingly more batshit crazy.  I would suggest that that, and not her wrinkled body,  is the passion strangler.

Answer to pop quiz:

 

Why, it’s Top Gun hotty Kelly McGillis (now aged 62).

21 comments

  1. She asked the wrong question. She should’ve asked what happens to a womans identity when all she IS is fuckable. When she’s so shallow, stupid, vain and self absorbed that all she can attract is men who are same. When she can’t, and never could, attract a man who wants a woman to spend the rest of his life with, grow old with, share experiences with outside the bedroom, and who will be his partner in life.

    Honey, if all you’re good for is a piece of ass, you’ll only find yourself used as a piece of ass. And THERE you’re competing with women who are younger than you.

    1. I can’t remember where I read it. but some professor asked a group of women what would they do if they couldn’t give intercourse anymore. Various women mentioned anal or oral, and after the talk died down he said, “Ladies, you’ve all reduced yourself to an object for sexual satisfaction. What else could you bring to the relationship?” This was some years back; nowadays he would be driven from public life as sexist, and whatnot, if not physically attacked.

  2. One of the “Wise Old Sayings”, ‘You know you are really getting old when your trophy wife gets fat.’
    And, it does happen to some sweet young things who are kind of like trees, every year adds another ring to the trunk.

  3. It all boils down to the phrase “No matter how hot a woman is, some guy out there is sick of her shit”. I wouldn’t dip my wick into Gwennie-poo no matter how good she looked, because I don’t want to be #3,251 in a long line of retards (and that’s after her “conscious un-coupling”, whatever the hell that was).

    And god knows I couldn’t stand to be around her when she started talking. What in the hell has she ever done that would be worth listening to? She’s Hollywood royalty, grew up in showbiz, and never held a real job in her life. You think I want to listen to her blab on and on about whatever is in her empty little head?

    Bah.

  4. I’m just disappointed that you left Raquel Welch (with pictures natch’) off of the list of examples sexy at any age. Gotta go out an do my own google search. What’s this place coming to?

  5. Have you seen Cyndi Lauper in those drug commercials? She looks better now than she did 30 years go. And yes, it’s plastic surgery, well done for once. She’s 65 now, I think.

    On the other hand, here’s a dream, shattered: There was a Lange ski boot poster around 40 years or so ago, showing a beautiful blonde on all fours, looking back at the camera. She was wearing Lange ski boots, with the slogan “Slip Into Something More Comfortable” in large print. That poster hangs in my garage to this day! The model’s name is Monique St. Pierre. I’d never seen a more beautiful creature. Monique wound up being a Playboy Playmate of the month, then winning Playmate of the year. I always imagined her as some exotic European, high class all the way. Well, I saw her on TV some years ago, in some show about plastic surgery. She was going back for more, earlier attempts hadn’t done well, plus age was having its way with her. The most awful part, though–she had an awful honking NYFC accent, like the Bronx, Yonkers or such. Talk about crushing my dreams…

  6. Not that I’m Sir Galahad, the women’s champion, but as my wife likes to point out:
    “Hey, guy, looked at those 6-pack abs recently;
    I remember you when you used to do sets of 10 double-claps without breaking a sweat.
    Anyway, you married me 45 years ago for my brains and my looks; good thing I still have my looks.”

      1. Are there ANY actresses out there who DO play for our team? It seems that they all “Come out” at some time or another after age 30 and the box office has declined.
        Or is it a marketing ploy?
        For that matter, what about actors? Should the ladies out there be pining for them, or will they be pining for Ricky Martin?
        There’s something about that industry. . .

  7. GP was never feckable in her prime, let alone now. Has the be the least sexy woman and not the slightest bit attractive. Cheeky mare – Mr True Brit is well happy with THIS 60 year old and wouldn’t swap me for droopy drawers Paltrow if he was paid.

  8. Hmmph. I would have guessed Kathleen Turner. Anyway, as others have pointed out, Ms. McGillis bats for her own team, and their standards for partnership are different. (To put it mildly.) As far as I know, Sharon, Jane, and Sophia are all happily hetero, and have maintained themselves thusly. (And if Jane or Sophia have a “wardrobe malfunction” similar to Sharon’s, we expect proof to be posted immediately.)

  9. Decades ago, I was introduced to a sculpture by Rodin, his ‘Old Courtesan’.

    Hours later, transfixed, often holding my breath to not disturb it, after closely examining the work from every angle, I left its presence a different person.

    Yes, there are flaws of youth; one of these is believing you are your physical body. And there is the perfection of maturity; my dogs remind me of this each time we do our eye-gazing.

  10. In ‘Top Gun: Maverick,’ Kelly was cast as an island.

    The movie’s theme song is ‘Take My Fries Away.’

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