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  1. A novice ‘photag’, Lucinda happily signed onto the tour advertising ‘the best rock-wall sitting!’. Yet oddly, nothing in the brochure mentioned the effects of gravity on her hair during a prolonged ‘pivot session’.

    Since few of her male co-students were similarly tilted, perhaps gravity prefers blonds? Indeed, a point to ponder…

  2. A novice ‘photag’, Lucinda failed to use the traditional ‘two-hand’ support for her equipment, resulting in the ‘backfire’ effect described in the post-mortem report.

    Former co-students described a ‘splat’ noise, then noted an opening in the class. Fortunately, Lucinda’s equipment was ‘ruggedized’, so it could be re-assigned to incoming devotees of the photographic arts!

  3. Defying the traditional ‘gray-scale’ wardrobe of her peers, Lucinda risks their ostracism for her ‘camouflage’ attire.

    Only kidding! The fellows were far too busy documenting the road construction to notice mere clothing choices.

    Ha! I bet you saw that one coming! Almost gotcha! You are a ‘sharp’ crew!

  4. Although Lucinda always thought she was just another ‘stodgy’ member of the keyboard-commando living-in-their-grandparents-basement The DuToit Fan Club®, other club members encouraged her to explore her ‘alternative’ proclivities… within reason, of course.

    Here, we see Lucinda using her trademark ‘straight-tootsies’ platform to reach her targeted audience… and TheWorldWideWeb noticed!

  5. Growing-up on a farm in ‘food-producing’ country, Lucinda was intimately familiar with ‘John Deere green’ as a permanent part of her adaptive vision.

    Indeed, the portraits section of her personal ad profile was intended for a certain ‘dirt-under-his-nails’ demographic. Sadly, with so many top-notch ‘salt-of-the-earth’ wimmen to choose from, Lucinda was ultimately relegated to returning to her roots, humiliated and alone for the rest of her days.

  6. After reading a Cosmo® magazine column about the advantages of the 4:1 ratio of DaisyDukes-to-belt, Lucinda hoped to ‘snag’ a favored co-student or two in her Rock-Wall Testing© class.

    Unfortunately, focused on an established style of testing, her co-students disdained her desperate needs. Returning home alone yet again, she disposed of the worthless article in a depressing series of full-moon mini-bonfires… and vowed to never ever believe anything published in New York city.

  7. Relying solely on the rumored powers of ‘sky-hooks’, Lucinda uses her remarkable toe-grip to avert certain crisis. Those dedicated years of grueling gym sessions finally paid-off!

  8. In this ‘still’ captured from the video of the last moments of Lucinda’s time here on earth, we hope to inculcate all new photags with the professional journalistic requirement to remain detached from your subject.

    In other words, no reaching out to save anybody! Your record of the event takes precedence over the danger to life and limb of your subjects! And besides, victims such as Lucinda can get ‘grabby’, endangering your expensive equipment.

  9. When he told his blonde girlfriend “Don’t drop the camera, babe!” he didn’t yet realise she was going to drop herself while still proudly holding onto it.

  10. 1. Never buy a blonde ballerina a “point and shoot” camera.

    2. “Honey, porn is when you lie on your back with your legs up in the air and someone ELSE takes the pictures.”

    3. Jan takes a few honeymoon snaps while she limbers up for later that night.

    4. Some Australians have a hard time adjusting to life in America.

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