Techno-Snooping

Let’s hear it for the companies who are spying on us:

The only Alexa I’d ever let into my house is a wonderful lady friend thus named.  The electronic snooper and spy?  Well, I guess somebody could put one into my house at some point, but the recordings would be kinda boring, because I’d be dead.

Bloody hell, it’s bad enough that the bastard government alphabet agencies might want to climb up my ass on a 24/7 basis, simply because I once wrote that I wanted to beat Ted “Swimmer” Kennedy to death with a lead pipe;  and that ever since the fat prick died, I’ve wanted to pour a bottle of Glenmorangie 10-year-old over his grave (after first passing the stuff through my kidneys).

Now the post-adolescent techno-weenies want their turn at my asshole, just because I buy books and deodorant from their poxy company?  Fuck ’em.

6 comments

  1. I’ve taken to asking if someone has an Amazon or Google Spy Device before I enter their home; about half the time I decline and suggest we can talk on the porch, and more than once I’ve terminated conversations when the topic changes. The gizmos listen to everything, data storage is cheap, and subject to subpoena.

    I haven’t gotten to “leave your cell phone in your car” quite yet, but I’m thinking on it.

    And, unrelated but since you mentioned it up, Kim – RE Glenmorangie, how would you compare it to the various age levels of Macallan? I’m growing tired of paying the monthly Mac ransom, but everything else seems like dishwater with a buzz.

    1. Strangely, I find all vintages of Macallan very harsh, except for the $$$$25-year-old$$$$, which is sublime. When I win the big lottery (any day now) I’m going to buy 20 cases of it, and drink no other single malt for the rest of my life. (For those who don’t know, it costs about $1,600-$1,800 per bottle.)

      In the absence of the Powerball millions, however, my absolute favorite is Glenmorangie 15-year-old; the older versions are not that much tastier for a lot more money. But I’m quite happy with the 10-y.o. vintage too.

  2. Whenever possible, I explain to folks that when they speak to their device, the sound of their voice is transmitted to a data center likely several states away. There, algorithms analyze the sound and decide if it is a voice, your voice, and then whether or not to respond to it. This happens with EVERY single sound in your house. 24/7. Each sound is analyzed and a decision is made. Anyone who thinks the line isn’t tapped is fooling themselves. They know what make and model refrigerator you have because they can hear the compressor running. And when it is not. They know your activity patterns.

    These devices can also detect and respond to frequencies higher than human hearing.

  3. If it is not real I will not talk to it.

    Nefarious is the word I would use to describe such devices.

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