1. “Ride, ride, ride, hitchin’ a ride.”
    Think of the explanation you’ll have to come up with to quell your wife’s ire over the STDs you recently acquired.

  2. Her meth-head boyfriend is lurking in the bushes just out of sight, waiting for some horny incel to stop and open up his door.

  3. For some reason, Blonde Brittany found the “give them the shirt off your back” approach always got her what she wanted. Oddly, no one ever wanted the actual shirt.

  4. Having painstakingly donned the skin of his latest victim, Orugsthph waited for the next prey. Soon, the nourishment would allow him to return to Washington.

  5. And here is Daisy-Mae-Loulabelle doing her bit to raise awareness for the One and a half arm One Tit Distressed Prozzie Charity crowd funding event.

  6. Spring is in the air and the Tangs wake up from hibernation and come out of their dens to mate. This un here is a fine example of a Poon Tang migrating.

  7. Bing Crosby saith “Going My Way”.

    Once knew a guy that in some order had been a state trooper, bootlegger, moonshiner, loan shark and railroad car-knocker. Always carried a piece and in equal measure in search of a piece.
    Told the following story on himself. During hippie times he was in his 60’s. Never one to pass up an opportunity, one day he picked up a passable young, long-haired hitch hiker. After a mile or two of small talk while checking out the wares, he noticed the hitchers bare feet. A bit large in size for a gal?! Finally he blurted out; “are you a boy or girl” Hitcher somewhat indignantly responded “BOY!”. In equal indignation old Slim slammed on the brakes telling his rider to get the *$#% out!

  8. [Vroom Vroom]

    [screeching of brakes]

    “Hop in!”

    (Shamelessly stolen from my favourite pinball machine, High Speed 2: The Getaway)

  9. After pulling an ‘all-nighter’ at the annual Stomping Of The Grapes, Nadine thoughtfully remembered to tug on her trousers.

  10. With only moments to spare, Nadine quickly thumb-tests the breeze direction before tower clearance to enter the airport ‘pattern’.

  11. Forehead creased in concentration, Nadine silently repeats the instructional tutorials from the village elders, carefully not crowding the ‘limit-line’… and hoping to avoid a repeat of last week’s twelve car ‘pile-up’.

  12. Nearing home after her first art class, Nadine uses that lesson to ‘thumb-size’ the proportions of the lovely rural landscape. She was certain her first painting was destined to be a classic!

  13. With the ‘auto-level’ option included in the handy ‘extremities’ package, Nadine carefully adjusts the horizontal focus of her newest planetary acquisition… a place the locals call ‘Terra’.

  14. After defacing telephone-pole number 1,643 with the obscure reference to her favored political organization ‘Centralized Policy Obsentia’, and yet only 749 poles to go, Nadine tragically realizes her mis-spelling of ‘Absentia’, and speedily switches her alliance to ‘Crapulous Policy Of Oregon’. Looking at it honestly, I think we can all agree… it’s all about the policy!

  15. Flush with success after the first use of her patented thumb ‘cloud-poke’ drought-ender, Nadine confidently moves on to new territory… to the delight of thirsty farmers everyplace!

  16. Following the single-named success of her heroes Cher and Beyonce, famed ‘calf-model’ Nadine strikes her trademark ‘3/4 split’ during a rural shoot for state-contracts hopeful Asphalt Endeavours of Decatur, Illinois. Sadly, the owner of Asphalt Endeavours, Tim ‘Oily’ McClanahan, never realized those contracts were ‘sown-up’ with the heavies from downtown Chi-town. And yet, all in all, a good time was had by all. And to top it off, Nadine’s exposure during the shoot won her renewed interest in her many splendid paintings!

  17. Confident their ghillie-suits offered complete concealment on the ‘stake-out’, federal agents Abramowitch and Adams were distraught to see Nadine tossing them a playful ‘thumbs-up’. Oh, well, back to the drawing board. Better luck next time, fellows. And here is something for all federal agents to keep in mind == a country girl will survive!

  18. Still to early to tell if this is a horror film or a porno. Given that John Hickenlooper isn’t nearby with his mom, I’m leaning toward horror film.

  19. Slowly realizing her remaining material descends into the mundane == and that would never do == Nadine panders to the support crew, offering a friendly ‘thumbs-up’ to The Mrs..

  20. Devastated by her stinging losses during a friendly game of ‘strip-poker’ with the fellows == although she later suspected more than merely the Fates were conspiring against her == Nadine enthusiastically ‘negotiated’ for the return of a pertinent article of her former wardrobe.

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