Final Comment: Cheltenham 2019

As always when it comes to this topic, I fall on the side of the conservative.  So let’s compare, for a change, how the men looked at Cheltenham this year.

First up is former England rugby captain Mike Tindall, with his wife, former GB Olympian  Zara Phillips (a.k.a. Princess Anne’s daughter).

At first, I looked askance at his shoes;  but then I realized that the oxblood on the shoes matched his tie.  Bravo.  (And Zara always looks elegant — quite royal, in fact.)

We’ve already seen Richard Hammond and wife Mindy, this time accompanied by his daughters:

Excellent.  For a Brummie (Birmingham yob), Hamster has good taste in clothes, and all the girls look lovely.

Actors Digby Edgley and Liv Bentley:

Things are starting to slip away, here.  When a man has super-skinny legs, he needs to wear fuller-cut trousers.  Young Digby’s trousers and boots make him look like the Third Urchin From The Left in the musical Oliver!   But he’s positively Beau Brummel compared to this idiot:

We’ve gone from Test matches (in pic 1) to test patterns… I think I’d better stop here.


  1. How many people were killed or injured in the explosion at the paint factory? I see that at least one guy escaped with harm done only to good taste and public decency.

  2. It amazes me that there is a factory out there somewhere where abused child laborers are turning out this particular fabric pattern by the roll. The scary thing is, they are probably producing worse.

    1. I once saw a waistcoat made out of said material, and amazingly, it didn’t look too bad, mostly covered as it was by the man’s jacket.
      This whole suit, however, is Way Too Much.

  3. Remember when going out in public with worn threads was a sign of poverty, laziness, a fallen person?

    That bottom pik, this planet could be void of those 2 blobs of narcissistc shit and no one would notice, but all of us would be better off. They are victims of the era of abundance and lack the intellectual horsepower to even understand it.

    1. > They are victims of the era of abundance and lack the intellectual horsepower to even understand it.

      Well said.

  4. Shocking as that suit is, it prompts serious questions. Isn’t there a tradition of wearing that sort of ridiculous costume at these events? And, of course, it’s intended as a costume, not a suit. Is it a tradition related to the Pearly Kings?

    For me, I find that pic of Digby more offensive. He’s just poorly dressed. As a costume, test pattern man succeeds. It even, mostly, fits him. Well done.

    (And by the way, I don’t care to see Mindy Hammond’s cameltoe, ever. How is that well dressed?)

    1. Ordinarily, said bodypart would be covered by the untucked blouse, but in holding her man’s arm, the covering rode up and the bodypart became apparent.
      Whether that’s accidental or by design is anyone’s guess.
      Actually, as cameltoes go, Mindy’s isn’t bad at all. I give you Lena Dunham or Amy Schumer as counterpoint.

      1. Struggling to understand the scale of measure here. I am hearing, for example, Charlize Theron cameltoe OK, Lena Dunham not OK. (Perhaps Nigella would have been a better choice for you than Charlize, but then this is my reverie, not yours.)
        Appropriateness of crotchal display, away from the beach, is relative to the overall hotness of the displayer. I can buy that principle.

  5. With the exception of #3, all of the men are dressed pretty much the same. Only the colors are different.

    1. ‘Twas ever thus.
      Nothing beats a decent three-piece suit with suitable accessories. Color is largely irrelevant, except as to time and location. (Hammond’s green-brown suit is not appropriate when worn in the city at night, for example.)

  6. Tindall’s footwear is easily forgiven as they not only match the tie, but both also match the wife’s hat and bag.

    As the kids would say, they ain’t playin’. And least there’s SOME of old britishland left.

  7. Digby and Liv: quite elegant from the waist up, then they had to spoil it with those ghastly ripped jeans. I find purposely ripped jeans offensive.

    I actually appreciate the color explosion suit. It is neat, well tailored, and cheerful. As another commenter noted, it is a costume and it is worn deliberately. I also appreciate his companion. Although she is overweight, she is very well groomed and meticulously dressed.

  8. re:
    the final portrait

    DiogenesMiddleFinger shows a similar costume on ex-somebody-somebody-important Michelle O’Bama as she practices her pivot-and-wave while stepping onto a taxpayer-owned airplane. DMF caption offers the opinion some people should not dress from the clown wardrobe trunk at the used circus yard sale. I thought it was witty, although clearly inappropriate for somebody so important. Because belittling.

    By-the-by, I could see me wearing the gent’s outfit. Me in a dress, not so much. Gadzooks!

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