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  1. The contestants for Miss Sourpuss 1972 prepare for their pageant.

    Actually, I’m pretty sure that very picture was in my Sociology textbook from college. Something about the women didn’t mind violating the standards of acceptable appearance while out shopping so they would look better later. Yeah, I took a Sociology class in my Freshman year of college, it was a group-A requirement. Taught by the chair of the Women’s Studies department too. Everything was my personal fault.

  2. Yes, in the mid-1960’s women who did not desire to have their boobs or butts touched wore this special headgear that worked very well both in the home and out shopping in stores. The only drawback was the extreme headaches caused by having hair follicles under tension for hours at a time while sending the ‘back off buster’ signal.

  3. Ho on the right, “Christ, Club Crackers are up to 23 cents a box now. If this shit keeps up Harold’s gonna hafta start working some overtime.”

    Strumpet on the left: “Was that motherfucker lookin’ at my tits? Well why not?”

    Skag in the middle: “Maraschino cherries, maraschino cherries, where the fuck are the maraschino cherries?” “I can’t have a ‘nanna split while watching the “Secret Storm” this afternoon without maraschino cherries!”

  4. Although casual observers might chastise Edwina for her cart push-bar ‘death-grip’, devotees Clarice and Clarice hope one day to aspire to the heights of push-bar ‘slimming’… quickly and easily slimming an ungainly three-incher down to a svelte one-inch, thus earning the eternal appreciation of tiny-handed cart-pushers everyplace.

  5. Squinting her frustration with her growing sense of exclusion by her myopic family, Darla suddenly realises her luscious vibrant blonde hair might indicate a possible adoption in her distant past… thus explaining the many cruel basket-on-the-step ‘jokes’ at Hanukkah gatherings.

  6. Madge ‘Eagle-Eye’ Blumperman, south-paw quarterback of the Houston Rollers, readies for a thirty-yard snap in this vintage portrait with her star blockers, Tina ‘Tiny’ Tadzvovitch on the left, and Ziggerburg ‘Urgie’ Mulchle (according to some sources, pronounced ul-SHAY with the ‘M’ silent) in the center.

  7. Practicing her trade-mark ‘distressed-fidgeting’ as recommended by her newly-hired Public Relations staff, presidential hopeful Nelda O’Casio imagines her first series of Executive Orders firmly outlawing saltines carrying fish products such as sardines. Or oysters. Or kippers.

  8. Invigorated by the freedom of her ‘no-sleeves’ wardrobe selections, Nelda contemplates continuing the judicious removal of other extraneous bits of fabric, inevitably leading to her next career choice as an exotic dancer.

  9. Desperately needing additional fiber in her diet, aptly-named professional ship and yacht christener Nelda ‘Whacker’ Wackerson is distressed to learn her next gig is a quonset-hut christening, her compensation including bar-be-que and potato salad… but no cole slaw.

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