Threatening

Although I seldom go out of doors without a hat of some kind, I don’t wear baseball caps because a.) I’m not a baseball player, b.) they’re uncomfortable in hot weather (synthetic material makes me perspire), c.) I’m not eight years old and d.) I’m not a farmer.

However, if it turns out that wearing one of these foul things “triggers” the political sect whom I hate and despise, I might break with a lifelong tradition.

I’ve always been just ornery enough that when someone tells me not to do something, and that thing seems quite innocuous, then I’m driven to do it.   And if the forbidder is a total whackjob, the urge simply intensifies.

I just wish “MAGA” was printed on a fedora or decent straw Panama hat… if anyone knows of such a thing, I’ll wear it.

And as for someone threatening me with violence for wearing the blessed thing… it is, as the kids say, to LOL.

20 comments

  1. Perhaps you can find a large MAGA button to attach to a fedora or Panama hat?

    I would respectfully ask to add two additional situations for ball caps for some of us out here:

    e) When it is part of a uniform (unit caps when I was in the military, and most recently for in the field when I was working at an EMA and we weren’t wearing hard hats).

    f) When engaged in an activity where you need headgear but a wide brimmed had is not practical. Such as when I work amateur radio events outdoors and need to wear headphones to monitor the radio. Try being stationed in a parade assembly area with 3 high school bands tuning up and you shortly find that full headphones are just about mandatory.

    We won’t even get into which way the brim of a ball cap should face. If you aren’t playing catcher or umpire at home plate or aren’t shooting rifle in the prone position, face it front!

    1. But, but, but…it’s so cool to show off how contrary you are to convention by wearing your baseball cap backwards when it isn’t necessary.

  2. You could probably find a red hat band and take it to an embroidery shop to have MAGA stitched on it.

    And if they refuse, sue them.

  3. My favorite:
    MAKE ORWELL FICTION AGAIN

    It pairs nicely with the song ‘Superman es ilegal’ by Hermanos Ortiz. And that pairs nicely with mojado stories about the Keystone Kops in charge of fUSA border security.

    PS:
    The term ‘mojado’ is the border-jumper term for participants in the game played by folks getting into fUSA “by any means necessary”.

  4. Any half-way decent embroidery shop can do up a red band with MAGA on it, and probably put some button holes in the back so you can adjust it to any hat you have.

    Now I have ideas……. And the Mrs. has a sewing machine that can do some light embroidery….

  5. The timing of your post is hilarious.

    Not 2 hours ago I ordered a couple of MAGA hats, as a FUCK YOU to all mentioned.

    I don’t like baseball caps, but this one gets a pass.

  6. Basically, a “baseball hat” is a front sun brim with a headpiece support. If you are not wearing it with the brim on the front to block the sun why are you wearing it at all? A fashion statement? Please. People can be purchased so cheaply.

    I’ve noticed a lot of balding men wear hats to try to hide the fact.
    Like the men who wear vests in the summer, they ain’t foolin’ no one.

    I wore a variety of headgear in the army from a beret to a steel pot and never liked any of it and when I got out the only time I wore a hat was when it was very cold or it was raining. I really dislike getting rain or snow on my glasses.

    1. > I’ve noticed a lot of balding men wear hats to try to hide the fact.

      AKA “Redneck Toupée”

      1. Hell, I’m not trying to hide anything, I’m trying to keep my scalp from getting sunburnt now that my hair has decided that it’s no longer needed.

        Traitorous genetics….

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