Fucking Busybodies

I don’t know how much more nannying I can stand.  How about this one:

James Bond is a ‘severe’ alcoholic and should be offered medical help by his employer, M16, academics have said.
The… agent drinks a total of 109 drinks over 24 films – an average of 4.5 per film, an analysis by researchers at the University of Otago in New Zealand found.
His record binge in the Quantum of Solace (2008) saw 007, played by Daniel Craig, consume 24 units of alcohol in one sitting – ‘enough to kill some people’.

Well it didn’t kill him, did it?

MAYBE BECAUSE JAMES BOND IS A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!!!!

But it’s actually his employer’s fault, of course:

The authors suggested work-funded counselling or psychiatric support would be appropriate, considering he could have had post-traumatic stress after killing so many people and being tortured in films such as Casino Royale (2006) and Spectre (2015).

I could suggest a few others for torture and killing, but I’ll stop before I burst a blood vessel.

The best part (?) of all this bullshit is that the “study” was performed by some professors from a university in New Zealand, a sub-species not exactly renowned for their sobriety.

Myself, I think these so-called “academics” are totally fucking retarded, and need to be driven over a cliff.

In a short bus.

15 comments

  1. “Myself, I think these so-called “academics” are totally fucking retarded, and need to be driven over a cliff.”

    Over a cliff? Only if driven like the rats they are. Otherwise a waste of an innocent motor vehicle. Spent the majority of my professional life at an international organization that prided itself on “professional” staff with a strong “academic” background. The running joke among “general” ratings was that a one-time Webster’s definition of “academic” was “lacking practical experience”; i.e., book learnt. And with little to show for the expense.

    1. > Otherwise a waste of an innocent motor vehicle.

      There’s a few vehicles that could be used. Old school buses for instance.

  2. An average of 4.5 drinks per film? And each film’s story covers how many days? That’s probably an average of a drink per day or less – hardly the stuff of alcoholism.

  3. Short bus upside: The back of the bus reaches the cliff more quickly.
    Short bus downside: It holds too few academics.

    1. Weren’t Bracegirdles a hobbit family? I’mna sure these kiwi twits aren’t worthy of hobbithood. And damn, I think I’ve quaffed about 3-4 Bond movies worth this night alone, feh.

  4. Bond JamesBond also shoots people, drives recklessly and engages in coitus outside of marriage. In his earlier incarnations he smoked tobacco. But his consumption of alcohol is a problem…

    1. Oh, yes. The Bond film that came out in the early 1990s (I forget the title) showed drug dealers, drug use, shootings, explosions, drinking, murder, torture, etc. In the end credits was a big notice that the movie showed the use of cigarettes and tobacco products, and use of these products could cause cancer and other health problems. I guess they’re OK with all of the other stuff they showed.

  5. As each film takes place over a less a week and in some far longer (You Only Live Twice may be set as three months, we can say that, that is 109 drinks over a year plus. So one drink ever three days.

  6. Anybody who thinks a martini is supposed to have vodka in it definitely is dain bramaged and overdue for a stay in detox.

  7. I believe in Casino Royale, 007 is working on his 8th(?) Vespa which has an alcoholic content of 4.5 measures. Personally, 36 measures in one sitting is a benchmark I’ve never came close to but I ain’t James Bond.

    The 1/2 measure is an aperitif called Lillet Blanc and it’s delicious-straight up on ice or with a couple measures of gin-wonderful summer’s eve cocktail which I sure as hell wish it was now. Today in Lamesa I’m being treated to probably the worst & dreckiest weather in the 4 years I’ve been here. High winds driving freezing rain/snow.

  8. The university of Otago is renowned as NZ’s hardest drinking university, and they try VERY hard to keep the reputation.
    My guess is that the research was done as a drinking game, where they had to drink every time 007 did. Binge watching Bond movies could be epic….

  9. 24 units of alcohol? I guess they never heard of the Frat Case challenge. sunup till sundown you have to drink a case of beer. Easy Peasy if you are not a three can man.

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