Wait A Minute

Ummmmm about my post of yesterday, I see this related factoid:

The number of old people being diagnosed with sexually transmitted infections is at an all-time high, figures have revealed.
Even people over the age of 90 are being treated for the illnesses, with dating apps, better health and drugs such as Viagra keeping them sexually active for longer.
Syphillis, one of the less common infections, was three times as common among over-65s last year as in the year before.
Meanwhile the number of people in the same age group contracting gonorrhoea more than doubled and chlamydia cases increased by 49 per cent.
Other infections included in the figures were genital herpes, which increased by 36 per cent, and genital warts.

Fucking Baby Boomers [sic].  The problem, and I speak as a Baby Boomer myself, is that when we were bonking like bunnies back in the late 60s and early 70s, everything was curable with a couple of penicillin jabs.  Now:  not so much.

That’s not an excuse for the above statistics, of course;  it’s just an explanation.  We Of That Generation were always a bunch of irresponsible idiots, and there’s no reason to think that we’d be any different in our jeans-wearing, grey-ponytailed dotage.  As if I didn’t have enough to worry about already;  now I can also look forward to a green, warty dick.  How lovely.

I think I’ll just go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.

14 comments

  1. One of the most humourously awkward conversations I’ve ever gotten to witness was a mid-40’s woman screeching at her father in my ER while the nurse was explaining that he did indeed have gonorrhea. The old dude was just sitting there laughing and mumbling about how he “knew that bitch was a filthy slut.”

  2. It’s really not that bad Kim–just use condoms (which admittedly don’t work on genital herpes) until the results of the STD screen come back.

    1. I think I stopped using condoms in about 1973. Not sure I’ll be starting up again anytime soon. (Of course, I’m being a blinding optimist by assuming I’m going to HAVE a sex life anytime in the future.)

  3. I remember being a horny teenager fantasizing about having ten women fawning over me. Well, if you are a widower over the age of 80, you can pretty much live out that fantasy, because there are A LOT of lonely widows eager to indulge you…

  4. Syphilis??

    This would go a long way toward explaining the behavior and reasoning of elderly Democrats.

    And I guess there IS an upside to impotence after all…

  5. Now, I understand why you’re out looking for a wife (maybe).
    I’m not certain that a green, warty pecker isn’t the better of the two options

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