5 Worst Ways For A Woman To Break Up With A Man

(Note to my Lady Readers:  I accept no responsibility if you do any of the following.)

Ranked in ascending order of coldness:

  • Arrange a “break-up dinner” at a restaurant, and split his head open with a cleaver when he starts whining and protesting
  • Invite him over so that he arrives while you’re in bed with the New Guy (and bonus points if it’s his apartment that you’re sharing)
  • Tell him you’ve finally decided to have a threesome, only it will be with Roger and Dave, and he’s not invited
  • Send him a nude selfie from your hotel room in Jamaica, said selfie to include the equally-naked (and fully erect) Jamaican pool “boy” in the background
  • Get your mother to give him the bad news. (Bonus points if she’s always hated him.)

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 comments

  1. How about going shopping for furniture the day before and then coming into his place of business and dropping the bomb?

  2. I had a woman almost do #2 there. I went to her place a bit before she got off work, figuring I’d make dinner for her so it’d be ready when she got home, but when I got there she was on the couch watching a movie… and snuggled up to a new guy.

    I gave her her key back and left.

    Funny thing was, I was intending to make it a decent evening, but to break up with her that night myself, so her doing that just beat me to the punch.

Comments are closed.