Today will be snippets of news that are guaranteed to make your eyes squint and Red Curtains Of Blood (RCOB) affect your vision. The fact that most of the items happened in Britishland makes no difference whatsoever. You have been warned.
6) “You think you Brits are the only ones who can go crazy with a knife? Banzai! ”
7) And lastly, just so we know that the rozzers are going after the serious criminals, there’s this one:
Tearful pensioner, 79, slams police for ‘threatening to prosecute her for feeding her neighbour’s pet’
8) Or maybe they can go after this kid’s parents, for giving him a toy gun to play with.
Now you can all go off and clean yer guns. I know I will.