When Technology Sucks

I have frequently railed against modern technology on these here pages, and just as often been called a Luddite or Old Fart etc. for doing so. Here’s the latest little fad, and its downside, which came under my baleful gaze:

BMW has claimed it is powerless to prevent criminals hacking into its cars.
In emails to a customer seen by the Daily Mail, the German giant acknowledged its latest keyless models were vulnerable to thieves using gadgets widely available online.
However, it insisted it cannot accept any responsibility for this.
The Mail has highlighted a surge in thefts using ‘relay boxes’ to extend the signal from owners’ key fobs to steal vehicles outside their homes.

Perhaps I’m missing something, but isn’t this “remote / keyless start” thing basically for those who are just too lazy to insert a key into a lock and turning it? (And spare me the “soccer moms with armfuls of groceries” spiel, please.) If I’ve missed some lifesaving feature that this technology brings, let me know about it — but be warned that I’m going to be a tough sell. The way I see it, it’s a little frippery invented to “improve” a product that doesn’t need much improvement (see: electronic seat setting “memory”) and simply adds yet another cost / opportunity to break and incur horrendous repair costs.

Also, as the above article reveals, it makes it easier for car thieves to steal your car, all while BMW et al. shrug their corporate shoulders and ask Pontius to hand over the basin when he’s done.

My VW Tiguan does have an electronic unlocking fob, and I use it simply because the actual keyhole is buried beneath a plastic shield in the door handle; but if the little battery inside goes phut, I doubt I’ll ever replace it. I’ll just take off the shield and go back to using the car key to unlock the door, as invented by God Henry Ford.

As for this remote-starting gizmo, I’ll only ever buy a car with one if you can permanently disable the wretched thing without voiding your warranty; otherwise, it’s on to the next model, or if all of them include that little thieves’ helper in the future, something a little more to my taste; something (duh) older:

You see, back in 1968 Mercedes didn’t screw around with unnecessary crap; they just made simple, gorgeous sports cars like this 230 SL. Sure, an enterprising car thief could probably nick it, too; but he’d have to work a little harder than just by buying a $5 relay box from Amazon.

Enough Already

As much as I am in awe of Kim Rhode’s prowess with a shotgun and her Olympic / World Championship achievements, I’m starting to think that she’s an idiot.

California thought they were onto something. Since they can’t seem to control guns, even though they really keep trying to, they decided to control bullets instead. After all, what could go wrong with that.
Well, now the state is staring down the barrel of a lawsuit. It seems that six-time Olympic medalist Kim Rhode takes a bit of exception to the new rules.

So she’s filed a lawsuit against the state, arguing that they’re interfering with her livelihood because under their new law, nobody can ship ammunition into California from another state or something like that. (I mostly ignore what California does because they’re batshit crazy and I don’t want any of that crazy to rub off on me.)

Kim (if I can call you that), please. The state of California doesn’t give a rat’s ass about your livelihood. In fact, they hate you and all the other sport shooters in the California because you show that law-abiding gun owners can be trusted and your shooting is a positive thing — and they can’t have that because they’re selling a narrative that all gun owners are eeevil killers and a powder keg waiting to explode and go insane, murdering a whole bunch of Innocent People.

So please, please leave the stupid place and go to Arizona or Texas or somewhere that will appreciate you and your skills and not try to screw you over anyhow they can. You’ve stood up for your principles, and that’s a good thing. But enough is enough; leave them to their own devices and let them sink into the pit of their own construction. All that’s going to happen is that if you win your lawsuit, California will find some other way to mess with gun owners, and another lawsuit will not help there either.

By the way, the above applies to all my other gun-loving Readers stuck in the Golden Shower State. I appreciate your stubbornness and all that good stuff, but really, it’s time to GTF out of there.

Pushing Back

From Britishland comes this excellent news:

The University of Buckingham will become the first UK university to launch a ‘drug-free’ policy, where students will have to sign a contract promising not to take drugs on campus.
The move has been introduced in the wake of findings by The Sunday Times that reveal a 42% rise in the number of those being disciplined for drug use compared to 2015, among 116 universities.
Writing in the same paper, Sir Anthony Seldon, the University’s vice-chancellor, said that if students persisted in taking drugs, they would be expelled.

I await the same news from an American university, but I won’t hold my breath.

As an aside:  back when I was looking at studying at an overseas university, U of Buckingham caught my eye because of their excellent academic standards and reliance on a truly “classical” education. Now I wish I had gone there… and let’s be honest: could one expect anything less from a university which Margaret Thatcher helped found?

Offensive Names

Here’s a headline which stopped me in my tracks:

Princess Michael of Kent IS still expected to attend Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding – following controversial claims she named her two black sheep Venus and Serena

Here’s my question, and it has nothing to do with wedding invitations: are Venus and Serena Williams Black? If so, who could possibly object to someone naming their (black) pets after two well-known Black athletes?

The latter question is rhetorical, or rather, it should be. The sad fact is that in today’s hyper-sensitive world, the simple act of naming one’s pet after someone may be sufficient cause for social ostracism. I could perhaps understand the opprobrium if said Princess had called her two black sheep “Nigger” and “Jigaboo” because Black people seem intent on giving other people the power to offend them by using outdated epithets — but this wasn’t the case, here.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should point out that I once owned a pitch-black cat whom I named “Othello”, and another cat whom I named “Rhona Barrett” because she had a big nose and, duh, the names were appropriate. I also had a snow-white cat named “Pig-Pen” because he was always rolling in the dirt and looked scruffy, and once had two ginger cats named “Rusty” and “Ginger” — and in today’s world, if I’d named them “Harry” and “Carrot-Top” I’d probably be accused of a hate crime towards redheads. I’ve never owned a Siamese cat, but if I did and called him “Chop Suey” or something like that, no doubt there’d be calls for my crucifixion (despite my atheism).

And returning to the Princess above: I can think of many words to describe the Williams sisters, but I have to say that “sheep-like” is not one of them. To anyone who’s ever watched them demolish their hapless opponents on the tennis court, “wolf-like” would be more appropriate — unless by making a lupine allusion, I’d be guilty of denigrating their femininity somehow.

Do you see how stupid this all is? And FFS: can’t we all just lighten up a little?

I’m unlikely ever to own a pet again; but if I do, I’m almost certainly going to name it something offensive, just because. Animal types and suggested names in Comments, please. (The more offensive, the better.)

Drop Dead Gorgeous

From Reader Gloria S. comes this little bit of mischief: “The Alvis was class, so’s this one. ’54 Jaguar XK 120 M, Drop Head Coupe.”

I saw several of these last year over in Britishland, and each one was as beautiful as the other. This one, however (to quote The Englishman) makes parts of me stir that haven’t stirred for a long, long time.

Celebration

Ahhhh, it’s May 1st, the traditional Socialist holiday [sic] when the Party faithful and the Vanguard rejoice in the perfection of the Proletariat Paradise they’ve created for the grateful working classes.

It was also Karl Marx’s birthday a little while ago, and the New York Times rejoiced in that, too.

So how should we, we happy band of Deplorables, celebrate all this Socialism?

I’d suggest punching a random hippie, journalist or Democrat [some overlap; quite a lot, actually] but then I’d no doubt be accused of some hate crime or other.

Ah well, might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb (so to speak):

…and should anyone need reminding of the fundamentals:

Suggestions for the Hanging Tree will be accepted in Comments.

Happy May Day, everyone! Now go ye forth and enjoy yourselves, and don’t forget to clean yer bayonets properly before putting them away: blood is very corrosive*.


*don’t ask me how I know this.