Fuck Off Granddad, They Explained

As a sexagenarian who has pretty much resigned himself to an employment future which consists of WalMart greeter or Uber driver, I read this little piece (found at Insty’s) with something of a mordant attitude:

A few weeks ago, Verizon placed an ad on Facebook to recruit applicants for a unit focused on financial planning and analysis. The ad showed a smiling, millennial-aged woman seated at a computer and promised that new hires could look forward to a rewarding career in which they would be “more than just a number.”
Some relevant numbers were not immediately evident. The promotion was set to run on the Facebook feeds of users 25 to 36 years old who lived in the nation’s capital, or had recently visited there, and had demonstrated an interest in finance. For a vast majority of the hundreds of millions of people who check Facebook every day, the ad did not exist.

In other words, they’re only interested in hiring younger people — no doubt because inexperienced young people don’t cost as much in salaries as experienced older people who might actually, you know, be productive on Day One.

Fine; it’s their business, let ’em hire who they want. When companies like Verizon discover that their future employees have the loyalty of dockside prostitutes and are not only ignorant of finance beyond their student debt, but insist on being accommodated in all their snowflake demands, the companies deserve everything that happens to them.

Older employees are not only more knowledgeable about the work, they’re also less demanding because they’ve walked this road many times before and understand how the world works.

For myself, I’m perfectly happy to try and find some kind of employment which makes me my own boss — the thought of working for Global MegaCorp Inc., with all its bullshit PC workplace regulations, makes me feel slightly ill. And by the way, Verizon is guilty of a bald-faced fucking lie in the above ad: all their employees below a certain level in the hierarchy are just numbers — witness how layoffs always refer to “headcount” which, lest anyone doesn’t know, is a number.

And just in case anyone from Global MegaCorp / Verizon happens to read this post, allow me to be completely honest with you: go fuck yourself.  I don’t need your pissy little job that badly, even though I could probably do it in my sleep. And frankly, if you don’t hire the best person for the job regardless of age, you’re even bigger fools than I thought you were.

And just FYI: I don’t read Faecesbook anyway.

7 comments

  1. Translation: We’re looking for people who are young and inexperienced enough to believe our BS about them being “more than just a number”.

    Plus, we’re going to give you a script written by someone much more experienced and expensive than you (because we only needed one, and he’s MUCH to expensive to waste his time on the phone with clients), and you’re going to use that VERBATIM to “advise” anyone stupid enough to actually use our financial services for the piddling amount of money they have socked away. We’re going to charge them no matter what their accounts do anyway. Because they suck and we hate them (oh wait, that’s HK, nevermind).

    Hey, you said cynical, I say realistic.

    Mark D

    1. Gun blogger. Best if you set up a YouTube channel and get Patreon subscriptions.

      That’s what I’m going to do when I retire.

  2. Is Boer Bastage taken? Think of the synergistic effects of efforting your diverse previous output… Oh God, did I just say that? The ISO 9000 virus has gone viral…someone take me out and leave me with the polar bears.

  3. We must greet each new day as if it’s our last, lest we become bitter at the children running the planet. I swear, the megacorps seem to be getting worse, if that’s possible. And I just don’t understand how they can be turning a profit with all the silly PC crap they have to go through just to answer the phone.

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