Ideal Companion

Yesterday’s SHTF post was altogether too serious. As the general theme of a Sunday post here on my back porch is “beautiful things”, let’s get whimsical.

Here’s the setting. Assume you’re not married, the S has or is about to HTF, and you’ve decided to hunker down in your house and ride out the storm.

The question: Who would be your ideal companion?

I’m going to confine this question to the Male Readers, because we all know that the Ladies’ choice would probably be end up being Bear Grylls, even though he’s a complete tool in real life and would probably make you eat garden caterpillars or something.

So, on with the show.

The immediate reaction from most men would be to choose one of the celebrity chefs, e.g. Nigella Lawson or Giada de Laurentiis:

…but I’ll bet you a thousand pizzas that both women are not only unfamiliar with guns, but quite probably gun-fearing wussies. (I may be wrong, but I doubt it.)

No, it’s quite clear that the criteria for your female co-defender are simple: she’s got to be self-reliant (i.e. can cook and shoot a gun) and, considering that you might be facing the End Times, likely to be fun in the sack as well. Here’s an (anonymous) example:

Now I’m going to go waaaay out on a limb here, and make the assumption that most women who are comfortable shooting are most likely going to be comfortable in the kitchen too — it’s a self-reliance correlation — so let’s look at maybe the best example:

Sarah Palin

She may be getting on a bit, but ol’ Sarah would probably top the list of most red-blooded men anyway. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that she is the Gold Standard of SHTF companions.

Let’s see if you guys can come up with a competitor. As usual, do it in Comments.




  1. I’m married to her. As long as we are wishing, I’d fix a number of long term health problems.

  2. How about Gal Gadot? Wibble-worthily gorgeous, intelligent, and ex-military. And a mother. Far too young for your tastes, though.

  3. Half the fun is too young for us.

    Since I got clipped when the boy came along, some how kids are my fault? anyway since I got clipped the ability to have kids has gone way down on the list of needs.

    So Sarah would do nicely. Or any one of a dozen odd women I can think of that are in the 40-60 year range.

    1. Good grief, I have undies that are older than this child. Also, using a gun in a movie does not indicate the user is a gun-lover (e.g. Helen Mirren in RED).

  4. I’ll never forgive John McCain, 2008’s designated loser, for the way he remained silent after the election when some of his campaign staff tried laying blame on Sarah Palin. She was the only thing that had people interested in voting for him.

    One more thing about Sarah Palin; there isn’t a feminist drawing breath whose ass she couldn’t kick. Sarah Palin doesn’t need anyone to gut her kill for her, she’ll do it herself.

    Her husband must be a helluva man.

  5. No doubt Sarah is at the top or very near the top of my list. She can hunt, fish, shoot, cook, and I’m just hypothesizing here – is amazing in bed! Add in the correct political mindset and a great pair of legs and she is hard to beat in anyone’s book.

  6. There are many women in the gunblogging community who would fit the bill very nicely–if they’d have you, of course.

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